Nursing Degree

Most of you know my school struggles, graduated with my bachelors in Biology in 2009, was accepted into the local Physician Assistant program, failed one class (by 0.6%), and was asked to leave the program.  It was devastating and I felt like a failure for a long time, in fact, I still struggle with "thinking" that I have failed in life.  But that's another post...today I want to talk about how those struggles have gotten me to where I am now.

I knew after the PA program that my schooling was not finished...although my student loan amount repayment amount should have told me differently!  I knew that I wanted to pursue an occupation in the medical field.  So after a little break, I met with school advisors and determined that Nursing would be a great choice for me.  There was an accelerated BSN degree through another local college, I applied, was interviewed, and was turned away because I "failed" (there's the blasted word again) an accelerated program before so they didn't think I could handle their program.  Even though one person from my PA class who also failed was accepted into their accelerated nursing program.  It was heart-wrenching.  Old wounds were torn open again and me "thinking" I was a failure were replayed in my mind.  But with the support of my husband I knew that I needed to keep trying.  So I decided to apply for the regular nursing program, which I was accepted into.  The only downfall with this program is that it would take 2 years to complete, whereas the accelerated would take 1 year.  But I figured that it would be less stressful to take my time in 2 years as opposed to the 1 year. 

The program was tough, there were many tears and late nights studying.  But my nursing track was so supportive and awesome, we all became very good friends and that made it worth-while for those 2 years.  And despite the tears and frustrations I made it!  I graduated on April 27, 2013 with a 3.3 GPA. 

My pinning ceremony was the day before, on the 26th and that is what I was most excited about.  This ceremony is what I wanted my family to come and watch...this was more important to me than the graduation ceremony.

Some of my cohorts

Right after being pinned KK ran and jumped up into my arms...he was so proud

A couple of my closer friends from school

Her + I = LOTS of stories

KK loved playing with this curtain with Jordan

After standing and sitting for so long on Friday I was in so much terrible pain from my hips and pelvis that I had to take a sedative (hydroxyzine) to sleep because I was in SOO much pain, I was seriously on the verge of asked Mr H. to take me to the ER, but knew that they would just give me pain meds and all I needed was to rest my hips and pelvis.  So after a nights rest, I knew that I couldn't bare to go through a graduation ceremony and risk hurting like that again.  So I didn't go to graduation...and I'm not upset about it nor do I regret it.

I am grateful for my education and that I have FINALLY finished (for now).  I can focus on my family and career without the nagging thought of homework or studying.  So what's next for me!?  My main focus is this baby.  I want to have a healthy pregnancy and birth without the stress of finding a job or going to a job.  The money would be nice, but we're surviving right now and can continue to survive until I feel capable of going to work.  This baby and my family are much too precious and are at the center of my focus at this time.

Attention Attention

So Mr H. and I finally went public on facebook with our very exciting news.  We're Pregnant!  There, I have finally said it.  I am 12 weeks today and feel great.  I've known since early December.  I had an feeling a couple days before KK's birthday that I was pregnant, but the tests were negative, but in my heart and boobs (Gosh, those suckers are sore), I already knew.  So I finally brought Mr H in the loop at Christmas (had a positive test on the 23rd), and what a great Christmas that was.  We let our whole family know by placing a bun in our oven and wrote a note that said, "Done Baking Sept 2013".  We face-timed with Mr H.'s mom first and it took her a while to get it.  But once it registered, she started jumping up and down and screaming and crying.  Then it was Mr H's youngest sisters turn.  Once we opened the oven, she knew exactly what that meant and was screaming.  We weren't able to tell his older sister until later and she knew exactly what that was and it was really awesome to see their reactions.  We also called my sister RR, in Utah to tell her the good news.  Before I even got to the oven she blurted, "Are your pregnant!?"  She was hoping for it more than her guessing.

Then it was time for my family to find out the surprise.  I had bought Mr H. a Willow Tree figurine of a pregnant woman that he brought over to the big house.  Once everyone was gathered around, he said that he wanted to show everyone this awesome gift I gave him and he brought it out and I could hear my brother, JW, say "Are you pregnant!?"  My mom clapped her hands around her mouth.  Everyone was so excited.  Probably more excited than I was at that time.  I am excited, I'm just nervous/scared.  There's a lot that can go wrong with the pregnancy and birth and I want this birth to be a healing one after the birth I experienced with KK.

I haven't been sick, I have not experienced morning sickness with this baby at all, HALLELUJAH!  I just have an extremely sensitive nose, and especially at the hospital I have gagged over smells more times than I can count.  BO, urine, and feces I just can't do, I start gagging so badly it's embarrassing.  In the beginning of pregnancy I had a hard time eating anything, nothing sounded good...only fruit.  I also couldn't make food because the smell of it made me gag.  Another thing that made me gag was the dirty dishes, just seeing them in the sink made me gag...isn't that weird!?  But now I'm good, I can do dishes and cook now.  Besides the BO, urine, and feces, I hardly gag anymore.  And the only thing that I crave is water, I am always thirsty.  I get up in the middle of the night to drink water, I always have water with me.  I'm just so thirsty, it makes me nervous about the diabetes screening...I hope I'm not positive. 

So this was the announcement I made to let everyone know that we were expecting.  We announced it on Valentine's Day after our 2nd OB appt.  We've had about 150 people like our status and about 60 people comment on our status.  We have a lot of people who love us and support us and for that I am grateful. 

Our 1st OB appt last month was the usual, ask a million questions, annual, and feel on the boobies.  But the coolest thing that happened was the Midwife was able to capture the heartbeat on the doppler, only for a few seconds, but we heard it.  It was like music, that has always been my favorite part of the visits.  So when on the 2nd visit she couldn't capture the heartbeat, I was feeling pretty nervous that something was wrong.  So, the same midwife took us in to do an ultrasound.  I was pretty much holding my breath until I saw the little heart fluttering.  KK was with us and got to see his new brother or sister on the ultrasound screen.  He thought it was really cool.  And Mr H. was just in awe.  The baby was bouncing and wiggling EVERYWHERE!  No wonder the Midwife couldn't find a heartbeat.  The baby had its arms and legs moving (waving a couple times) and was just going crazy in there.  Makes me nervous for when it gets bigger!

 

 

The ultrasound picture isn't the best.  A couple times we had a great picture of the baby, the print button was hit and the baby would move and we'd lose the picture.  But so far there only looks like one baby in my womb and the baby looks healthy!  I sent the ultrasound picture to Mr H.'s mom and she told me that Mr H was very busy in her belly.  He kicked her so hard in the ribs and sternum that she had bruises!  Yikes...I hope this child doesn't take after its dad! 

 

I am hoping to document this experience better than I did with KK.  I started blogging when he was about 9 months old and I want to be able to remember these precious moments.