I wanted to post about my perspective on Emron's birth. For me, it was an entirely new experience. Before Emron, I was already a father of 2 boys, G and KK. Of course, KK is not my biological son, as he was 2 when Mrs. H. and I started dating. G is also not mine biologically. He was 17 months old when his mom (my ex) and I started dating, and I raised him ever since, officially adopting him when he was 4. Mrs. H's pregnancy with Emron started a new chapter in my life, a chapter filled with things and experiences that are entirely new to me. I was so happy to experience the pregnancy with Mrs. H. and see how Emron grew inside her. I never missed a single appointment because I wanted to learn everything I could and understand as much as possible about the pregnancy and birth. I also wanted to be a strong supporter for Mrs. H., and I didn't want to miss a single chance to hear our unborn baby's heartbeat.
Because I had never had a child biologically, I had no idea what to expect with labor and delivery. My preconceived notions and ideas about labor and delivery came mostly from movies and tv, which are far from realistic. We had several false alarms with contractions that faded out but got my hopes up and got me excited for when Mrs. H. finally went into labor. When I convinced Mrs. H. to get a chiropractic adjustment, I had a feeling it might help. It turned out to be just what we needed to get things moving. Just after the adjustment, she called me to tell me that she was 85% sure her water broke, but it wasn't a gushing breakage. I was super excited and was rushing to get everything taken care of at work so I could leave. Then just a couple minutes later, Mrs. H. called again and told me she was certain now, because she finally got the gushing breakage. By this point, I had about 10 minutes of work left to do, so I finished that up really quickly and headed home to get ready for the birth.
Once I got home, I immediately started timing Mrs. H's contractions to see how long they were and how far apart they were. I was surprised to see that over the span of an hour, most of Mrs. H's contractions were about 4-5 minutes apart and 35-45 seconds in duration. I know the information from our doctor's office recommended going to the hospital once her water broke or once the contractions were 5-7 minutes apart for an hour. We had both criteria met, so I tried to convince Mrs. H. to head to the hospital. She was reluctant, but after I said we could take our time and get some lunch and a few things on the way, she agreed. We arrived at the hospital about 90 minutes later after a good meal and picking up some items from the store, that we needed for our hospital bag. By the time we parked at the hospital, Mrs. H's contractions had gotten down to 2-3 minutes apart, so I thought things might move along fairly quickly. As you all know from her previous posts, Mrs. H's contractions slowed down once they had her confined to a bed. I had no idea that things could move along so quickly, then stall out like that, especially after her water broke. I was glad that we were able to try natural things to get the contractions going again, before we had to resort to medication. I was so proud of Mrs. H. for being so tough and fighting through 16 hours of irregular contractions and back labor, before she decided it was time to get an epidural. I tried very hard to help her through everything and help her relax. Thankfully, our friend was our birth coach and she helped me to remember what I needed to do in order to help Mrs. H. as much as possible.
Once the epidural had taken effect and initial pitocin was started, there was a little progress with contractions and Mrs. H. became more dilated, which got me excited that I would soon see my baby born. It took a mild increase in the pitocin dosage to really get the contractions where they needed to be, but once that happened, Mrs. H. finally dilated to where she needed to be. The nurses and our midwife had Mrs. H. labor down for another 20 minutes before they wanted her to start pushing, which helped Emron move lower to reduce the amount of pushing that would need to be done. As that time came to a close and they were getting things set up for Emron to be born, I decided I should make a quick bathroom trip before things really got moving, because I expected the pushing to last awhile. Luckily, on my way back from the bathroom, I saw KK and Mrs. H's dad coming down the hallway, so I grabbed them and had them both go into the room to give her a hug. I knew that seeing KK would help Mrs. H. get through the toughest part of her labor. As soon as they left the room, it was time to push, so they got Mrs. H. propped up and in position to start pushing, and I decided to stay at the head of the bed to support her. By the time she was in position though, they said they could see Emron's head, so I decided to be brave and face what I feared would be a grizzly sight, and I went to the foot of the bed to see how things would unfold. I gave my phone to Mrs. H's sister so she could call my mom, so she could hear Emron be born and hear his first cry as well as the announcement of the gender. I hit dial and handed the phone off. As I did that, Mrs. H. gave her first big push (the first one didn't do anything because she didn't hold her breath) and Emron's head popped right out. This part scared me because a pretty big rush of blood came out too, but when the midwife and nurses didn't seem to worry, I figured that was normal. Only a couple seconds later, Mrs. H. pushed again and Emron came rushing all the way out! I remember seeing him reach up with his right arm as soon as it was free, and seeing him wiggling around. The whole thing happened so fast, the call to my mom hadn't even connected yet. It was only about 15 seconds, maybe 20 at the most. As soon as I saw Emron come all the way out and move around, I completely lost it. I knew I would be a bit emotional, but I started crying my eyes out at the sight of my baby being born. It was almost hard to see through my tears, but I rushed to the head of the bed and rubbed Mrs. H's arm and heard her say that we had a boy. Once I heard Emron cry, I just had to touch him, so I softly felt his head while they were cleaning him up as he was laying on Mrs. H's chest. That was the most amazing thing I had ever seen happen. I watched as the nurses and midwife did all they needed to do, and after a short while, they said I could cut his umbilical cord. That was pretty cool and so different for me. After that, they needed to weigh him and get him all cleaned up and do the usual stuff, but I couldn't let him out of my sight, so I followed the nurses all over our room as they moved him around to do all of their duties. I was just so amazed to see this new life start and I just had to touch him and feel him as much as I could, even though I mostly just felt his hands, feet, and softly touched his head. I couldn't stop talking to him and looking at him as closely as I could. I focused on looking at him and talking to him so much, that I didn't even know what the nurses were doing with him.
Once they finished, they bundled him up and carried him over to Mrs. H. so she could hold him more. While they did that, I went out to the hallway to let KK and Mrs. H's dad know that we had a beautiful baby boy. When I tried to speak, nothing came out but some squeaks and crying, and of course lots of tears, so KK was afraid something was wrong. I managed to get out the words to tell KK that he had a baby brother, and I told him that everything was fine, that I was just super happy. He immediately got super excited and jumped up and down, and Mrs. H's dad was super happy too. We all went into the room together so they could hold Emron. KK held him right away and was beyond thrilled to be holding his little brother, until he felt something warm and wet. We knew right away that Emron just peed on his big brother. KK handed him back to me and I carried him over to the warming table, where I unwrapped him and we realized that Emron pooped on KK too. I guess he really wanted to start their sibling rivalry off with a bang. After getting some fresh blankets wrapped around Emron, I finally got to really cuddle with him and take in the moment, which is hard to put into words, but I'll try to.
I could only come up with one way or analogy to describe seeing my baby born into this world. It was like seeing the door of Heaven open up for just a few seconds, and feeling just a bit of Heaven's perfectness spill out onto me. To put it into a more Earthly analogy, imagine walking around all day in the sweltering summer heat, and then knocking on the door of a loved one's house. When that door is opened for your loved one to come out and greet you, you feel a short blast of cold air rush out from the A/C. It's that little bit of bliss that slips out and hits you, that feels amazing. Seeing Emron born, and knowing that he was just with our Heavenly Father, waiting to join our family in this world, was that door opening, and I could feel our Heavenly Father's love, and the perfectness that He created, slip out of Heaven onto us in that moment. It's something I don't think I can ever forget!
Monday, September 16, 2013
On the Road to Recovery
When I was pregnant with ET, I felt overwhelmed like a lot of new moms, what to pack for the hospital, what's the birth plan, another c-section or VBAC, how was the birth going to go, recovery? Tons of questions and some wouldn't be answered until the baby was delivered. There was a lot of reading and a lot of talking to others. I don't think it helped my anxiety reading about other peoples horror stories about birth and recovery, I even had my very own Horror Story. And every single person's experience is different, it was hard to get an idea of what I should expect. Therefore, I didn't know what to expect when I did give birth.
I knew that I wanted to try for a VBAC, I did NOT want another c-section. That was too difficult for me to recover from, granted, a normal (non-critical emergency) c-section may be an easier recovery than I had, as well as taking time to heal (I went back to work one week after having KK!). I knew the only reason for a c-section for baby #2 was if there was no other choice (for the baby's safety, my safety, etc).
I knew that I wanted to try a natural birth. I didn't know if I would be able to last very long but I wanted to see how far I could go before asking for an epidural, because in my birth plan, I didn't want anyone to suggest drugs to me. I wanted to ask for them when it became unbearable. I was afraid that if someone suggested something that I would cave in and I didn't want to cave, until I just couldn't take it anymore.
I also knew that I wanted to have a birth coach with me, to help me focus my energy and to remind me to relax and breath. This was Mr H.'s first birth experience and he had no idea what he was getting himself into. I wanted to have someone forcing me to stay on task and she was able to. I also needed someone who was going to be my advocate and she was able to do that too.
Once I had ET, I felt great. I didn't know a person could feel that good after having a baby. I seriously wanted to do it again! That's crazy talk, but I really wanted to give birth again! I must have had special hormones running through me, but I told Mr H. that I couldn't wait to get pregnant and have another baby! I NEVER felt like that after KK. It was such a high! And because of the epidural, I didn't quite feel the pain. And even once the epidural faded, the pain was tolerable as long as I took my medication, although, a couple times I had to ask for vicodin because the motrin wasn't strong enough.
Going to the bathroom (#1) was alright for the most part as long as I had that warm water spray bottle to spray on myself. Showers helped too. I never used the sitz bath or the tucks pads but brought both of them home. Showers were great, being able to get clean made me feel like another woman and the warm water helped with the pain. Most of the pain came from ripping, I was so swollen...but that's what happens! The whole time, I kept thinking, that this recovery was WAY better than a c-section! After having a VBAC, I could never chose a c-section.
While at home, recovery continued and was tolerable as long as I took my medication. Even when ET ate, I couldn't feel my uterus contracting. I still continued to use the warm water spray when using the bathroom. And finally when I went #2, it was scary but wasn't as bad as I was expecting.
This recovery has been better than I could have hoped for. I've been able to move around, get up and down, walk KK to the school bus, do a bit of housework, bend over, etc. I feel like I can do anything...although, Mr H. won't let me. He makes me sit down and rest, he knows that I will push myself too much. He's been taking great care of me. I'm lucky to have him.
Today, at 16 days post delivery, I feel probably about 90% recovered. I haven't taken any medication in 3 days, the swelling is down, the bathroom trips aren't scary anymore, I'm able to carry the carseat without difficulties, and I'm getting out and about a lot. I've also lost 21 pounds so far! I am grateful for this speedy recovery. I know that my experience with recovery is NOT what all woman go through but I'm hoping that this is typical for me, for the sake of the next child and the next.
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I knew that I wanted to try for a VBAC, I did NOT want another c-section. That was too difficult for me to recover from, granted, a normal (non-critical emergency) c-section may be an easier recovery than I had, as well as taking time to heal (I went back to work one week after having KK!). I knew the only reason for a c-section for baby #2 was if there was no other choice (for the baby's safety, my safety, etc).
I knew that I wanted to try a natural birth. I didn't know if I would be able to last very long but I wanted to see how far I could go before asking for an epidural, because in my birth plan, I didn't want anyone to suggest drugs to me. I wanted to ask for them when it became unbearable. I was afraid that if someone suggested something that I would cave in and I didn't want to cave, until I just couldn't take it anymore.
I also knew that I wanted to have a birth coach with me, to help me focus my energy and to remind me to relax and breath. This was Mr H.'s first birth experience and he had no idea what he was getting himself into. I wanted to have someone forcing me to stay on task and she was able to. I also needed someone who was going to be my advocate and she was able to do that too.
Once I had ET, I felt great. I didn't know a person could feel that good after having a baby. I seriously wanted to do it again! That's crazy talk, but I really wanted to give birth again! I must have had special hormones running through me, but I told Mr H. that I couldn't wait to get pregnant and have another baby! I NEVER felt like that after KK. It was such a high! And because of the epidural, I didn't quite feel the pain. And even once the epidural faded, the pain was tolerable as long as I took my medication, although, a couple times I had to ask for vicodin because the motrin wasn't strong enough.
Going to the bathroom (#1) was alright for the most part as long as I had that warm water spray bottle to spray on myself. Showers helped too. I never used the sitz bath or the tucks pads but brought both of them home. Showers were great, being able to get clean made me feel like another woman and the warm water helped with the pain. Most of the pain came from ripping, I was so swollen...but that's what happens! The whole time, I kept thinking, that this recovery was WAY better than a c-section! After having a VBAC, I could never chose a c-section.
While at home, recovery continued and was tolerable as long as I took my medication. Even when ET ate, I couldn't feel my uterus contracting. I still continued to use the warm water spray when using the bathroom. And finally when I went #2, it was scary but wasn't as bad as I was expecting.
This recovery has been better than I could have hoped for. I've been able to move around, get up and down, walk KK to the school bus, do a bit of housework, bend over, etc. I feel like I can do anything...although, Mr H. won't let me. He makes me sit down and rest, he knows that I will push myself too much. He's been taking great care of me. I'm lucky to have him.
Today, at 16 days post delivery, I feel probably about 90% recovered. I haven't taken any medication in 3 days, the swelling is down, the bathroom trips aren't scary anymore, I'm able to carry the carseat without difficulties, and I'm getting out and about a lot. I've also lost 21 pounds so far! I am grateful for this speedy recovery. I know that my experience with recovery is NOT what all woman go through but I'm hoping that this is typical for me, for the sake of the next child and the next.
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Saturday, September 14, 2013
What's in a Name!?
My name is very unique, I could never find keychains with my name on it, people always misspelled it and mispronounced it, and I vowed to never do that to my kids. Well, I broke that vow with baby #2. But before go into that, let me explain how my name came into existence.
When my parents became pregnant with me there were no routine ultrasounds. Ultrasounds were brand new and used only if the doctors felt there was a problem. So back in the day, couples would only find out the gender of the baby if they needed an amniocentesis. My mom never needed an amniocentesis when she was pregnant with me, but my dad KNEW that I was a girl...he just knew it. So the name game began. They talked about Camilla, Naomi, and Aubrey. But one night, as my dad slept, he had a dream. He had a dream and heard my name and saw how to spell it...Chole (Show-lee). My dad woke my mom up and told her about it and told her that is what they were going to name me. And that's how my name came into existence.
Growing up, I really disliked my name, it was hard for people to pronounce it and spell it. Like lots of kids, I was teased about my name "Holy Moly here comes Chole!" My parents tried to make me feel special, since I was not able to buy anything with my name on it. I remember once, when we were at 6-Flags there was a booth where a person would engrave names on a silver ring for $100! I showed my mom what they were doing, knowing all good and well, that my parents couldn't afford having one made for me. She must have had her motherly heartstrings pulled because without my knowing, she had one of those rings made for me and later gave it to me. I was SOOO super excited, I wore that ring all of the time...I still had the ring, up until my divorce, when my X kicked KK and I out of our house. I must had left that behind because I haven't been able to find it ANYWHERE! It makes me a little sad when I think about it, but I can't do much about it...I lost a lot during that time, and I'm not just talking about possessions. But anyway, while growing up, I told myself that I would never name one of my children a unique name that had to be specially made and I couldn't just buy a placard at the store.
Even though I told myself that I would never do that, I changed my mind with child # 2. While pregnant, we chose not to find out the gender so we had to think of boys names and girls names. It took a LONG time to figure out what we liked. Mr H. would suggest something, I didn't like it...I'd suggest a name and he didn't like it. At one point, we finally decided on middle names we liked and wanted to use. If the baby was a girl, we like Evelyn as a middle name and Thomas for a boy. Well, now we had to decide on first names. On our trip to Epcot in Disney, while we were in Norway, Mr H suggested a girl's name that I REALLY liked, it is a name that is unique. If we had a girl she would have been named that name. I was so certain that I was having a girl during this pregnancy that we hardly talked about boys names. Going into delivery we still thought that it was a girl, so when the baby was delivered and I saw boy parts I was happily shocked. No disappointment at all, just purely surprised. Once his cord was cut and he was placed on the heated table Mr H. looked at me and said, "Should we name him Emron, what do you think?"
Emron is a name that I suggested to Mr H. and he didn't like it. So I kind of scratched it off my list, even though it was my favorite name suggested. One day, while pregnant, the name just came to me. I can't explain it...it just popped in my head and I couldn't stop thinking about the name. I went through all sorts of ways I could spell it. I suggested the name to Mr H. and asked how it would be spelled, E-M-R-O-N, I said. I also told him that he would have Mr H's granddads initials E.T., although he was Ervie Thomas. But still, Mr H., didn't really like it. But I guess, from the time I suggested the name until the delivery he had been rolling the name around in his head and once the baby made his appearance, Mr H. thought that that name fit our little boy. I was excited when he asked me if we should name him Emron because I have liked that name since it popped into my head.
I knew that when we named him people would mispronounce his name...that was a given. I knew people would think it was pronounced as EM-RON, but it's pronounced as EM-REN. When we announced his birth and the name we chose, a friend said that she likes the name and it's awesome that it's in the Book of Mormon. Wait what!? I had NO idea that the name Emron was in the Book of Mormon until she mentioned it. So naturally I had to look it up and Moroni said that he is a choice man. I would have to agree, my Emron is a choice man (although he's not a man now, he will be).
I am so excited that this choice spirit is in our lives. And now that he's here, I couldn't imagine my life without him.
When my parents became pregnant with me there were no routine ultrasounds. Ultrasounds were brand new and used only if the doctors felt there was a problem. So back in the day, couples would only find out the gender of the baby if they needed an amniocentesis. My mom never needed an amniocentesis when she was pregnant with me, but my dad KNEW that I was a girl...he just knew it. So the name game began. They talked about Camilla, Naomi, and Aubrey. But one night, as my dad slept, he had a dream. He had a dream and heard my name and saw how to spell it...Chole (Show-lee). My dad woke my mom up and told her about it and told her that is what they were going to name me. And that's how my name came into existence.
Growing up, I really disliked my name, it was hard for people to pronounce it and spell it. Like lots of kids, I was teased about my name "Holy Moly here comes Chole!" My parents tried to make me feel special, since I was not able to buy anything with my name on it. I remember once, when we were at 6-Flags there was a booth where a person would engrave names on a silver ring for $100! I showed my mom what they were doing, knowing all good and well, that my parents couldn't afford having one made for me. She must have had her motherly heartstrings pulled because without my knowing, she had one of those rings made for me and later gave it to me. I was SOOO super excited, I wore that ring all of the time...I still had the ring, up until my divorce, when my X kicked KK and I out of our house. I must had left that behind because I haven't been able to find it ANYWHERE! It makes me a little sad when I think about it, but I can't do much about it...I lost a lot during that time, and I'm not just talking about possessions. But anyway, while growing up, I told myself that I would never name one of my children a unique name that had to be specially made and I couldn't just buy a placard at the store.
Even though I told myself that I would never do that, I changed my mind with child # 2. While pregnant, we chose not to find out the gender so we had to think of boys names and girls names. It took a LONG time to figure out what we liked. Mr H. would suggest something, I didn't like it...I'd suggest a name and he didn't like it. At one point, we finally decided on middle names we liked and wanted to use. If the baby was a girl, we like Evelyn as a middle name and Thomas for a boy. Well, now we had to decide on first names. On our trip to Epcot in Disney, while we were in Norway, Mr H suggested a girl's name that I REALLY liked, it is a name that is unique. If we had a girl she would have been named that name. I was so certain that I was having a girl during this pregnancy that we hardly talked about boys names. Going into delivery we still thought that it was a girl, so when the baby was delivered and I saw boy parts I was happily shocked. No disappointment at all, just purely surprised. Once his cord was cut and he was placed on the heated table Mr H. looked at me and said, "Should we name him Emron, what do you think?"
Emron is a name that I suggested to Mr H. and he didn't like it. So I kind of scratched it off my list, even though it was my favorite name suggested. One day, while pregnant, the name just came to me. I can't explain it...it just popped in my head and I couldn't stop thinking about the name. I went through all sorts of ways I could spell it. I suggested the name to Mr H. and asked how it would be spelled, E-M-R-O-N, I said. I also told him that he would have Mr H's granddads initials E.T., although he was Ervie Thomas. But still, Mr H., didn't really like it. But I guess, from the time I suggested the name until the delivery he had been rolling the name around in his head and once the baby made his appearance, Mr H. thought that that name fit our little boy. I was excited when he asked me if we should name him Emron because I have liked that name since it popped into my head.
I knew that when we named him people would mispronounce his name...that was a given. I knew people would think it was pronounced as EM-RON, but it's pronounced as EM-REN. When we announced his birth and the name we chose, a friend said that she likes the name and it's awesome that it's in the Book of Mormon. Wait what!? I had NO idea that the name Emron was in the Book of Mormon until she mentioned it. So naturally I had to look it up and Moroni said that he is a choice man. I would have to agree, my Emron is a choice man (although he's not a man now, he will be).
I am so excited that this choice spirit is in our lives. And now that he's here, I couldn't imagine my life without him.
Monday, September 9, 2013
The Birth Story
Warning: This is going to be a very long and TMI-ish post. So read at your own will, if you don't want to read, you can always scroll down to the pictures!
Thursday, August 29
I had an OB appt, and was checked and was 4cm dilated, 70% effaced, and 0 station, no further progress from last week. But Jeremy did say that he thought it would be "anytime soon" which could be between today and 2 weeks from now. We asked if there was anything more we could do to speed things along...a chiropractic adjustment was mentioned along with other things, using a breast pump, evening primrose oil, massage, etc.
After the OB appt I had to pick up KK from school because he had a dentist appt and the follow up from his nose being cauterized. At the dentist, he had a cleaning and they found no cavities! I was so super excited. We've been trying to do better with brushing his teeth, now we just have to be better with flossing. After the dentist we went to Goodwill and I found a crib set that I really liked and it is gender neutral so I bought it. KK's ENT appt went very well, everything looks like it is healing beautifully and the doctor said he doesn't need to see him back unless he starts having bloody noses again. But from the surgery until now, he has had 1 very small bloody nose.
KK had soccer practice later on in the day and after that my parents met us back at our house. My dad wanted to go swimming and my mom was going to teach me to can tomatoes, since I had a TON of ripened tomatoes that needed to be used before it was too late. So while Dad, Mr H., and KK went to the pool, my mom and I started canning the tomatoes. Although, I should say, my mom pretty much did all of the work. My back was in soo much pain, it had been progressively becoming more painful for a couple of days. So, mom had me sit and relax a bit and she just canned the tomatoes for me. I LOVE my mom!
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When the boys came back, Mr H. ran to 'Five Guys' to pick up dinner for all of us while KK got dressed and my dad showered in KK's bathroom. Mom and I ate our food while we waited for some of the jars to set and the others were submerged in the boiling water. I had to leave for a book club meeting before mom and dad were ready to leave. From what Mr H told me, mom finished the canning and got KK ready for bed and even read him part of the Harry Potter book we're in the middle of.
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Book Club is always fun, it's pretty much talk about the book for a half hour and chit-chat for the rest of the time. Great food/snacks and great girl time. I must have been showing signs of being in pain or something because a couple of the girls asked if I was alright. They even joked about getting a towel for me to sit on just in case. They all told me that they probably won't see me at church on Sunday...I laughed and told them that this baby was so stubborn that I will probably go into labor at 42 weeks.
I tossed and turned ALL night, I was so uncomfortable...my lower back and pelvis were killing me, not to mention all of the bathroom runs in the middle of the night. I probably woke up every hour just trying to find a comfortable position. I know that I tossed so much that I woke Mr H. I claimed more than half of the bed...Mr H was so scrunched up on his side of the bed, I know it wasn't comfortable for him either. I couldn't help it though...and he's a good sport, he just felt so bad that I couldn't get comfortable or get any sleep. I woke up to my back hurting so badly...he suggested that I call his chiropractor and see if they could squeeze me in today. I am lucky that the chiropractor is in our church family (ward) and he was able to squeeze me in for 9:15 am.
Once at the appointment, he took a look at me and was telling me that I should have seen him earlier because my right leg was about an inch shorter than my left and that could be the reason behind my pelvic pain. He told me that I was so off, that I would need for come in a couple more times for adjustments just to get things right...he also said to come in after I have the baby to make everything better and aligned after labor.
After the adjustment I scheduled another for next Friday and then headed to McDonalds for breakfast...because it was on the way and I had a few other things I needed to do. After picking that up, I headed to Wal-Greens to pick up KK's allergy medicine, pay for it, then when I walked to the car I felt a trickle in the middle of the parking lot. "Hmmm...that's weird" I thought! So I jumped into the car took a look at the time, 10:12 am and drove to the gas station, got out to start pumping and more trickling...I don't think I was wetting my pants, but maybe I could be!? I was about 85% certain that my water broke. So after pumping gas, I came home and tried to clean myself up in the bathroom. I sat on the toilet and called Mr H. to tell him the news, mind you, I had just called him about 10 mins ago to tell him I was done at the chiropractors office and how that went. So, when I called this time, he was joking with his co-workers saying that hopefully I was calling to say my water broke...and that's exactly what I said. I told him not to rush home though...that I didn't feel any contractions yet. The plan was to do most of the labor at home and just go to the hospital when it was unbearable.
I hopped in the shower to make sure that I was presentable and clean before things started progressing further. After the shower, I tried putting on my bottom under clothes and a gush of amniotic fluid squirted onto the carpet next to my bed. I just laid a towel over it, until I was able to clean it up later. Mr H. came home fairly quickly and helped me clean up the mess and help finish packing the hospital bag. The contractions had started, but they weren't bad at all...very tolerable. I let my birth coach know that my water broke and told her that we would let her know when we were heading to the hospital. I was still up and walking around, with a huge beach towel between my legs. I stripped my bed sheets and started them in the wash...I wanted clean sheets when I came home from the hospital. Mr H. was keeping track of the contractions, how far apart they were and how long they lasted. I made sure that my dad would be able to pick up KK from school, I called the school and let them know KK would be parent pick up. It's a good thing my dad took Friday off because of the holiday weekend. Mr H and I discussed when we should go to the hospital, he wanted to go now (contractions were about 5 min apart and 35-45 seconds) and I wanted to wait...because they were tolerable. So he convinced me that we should go to Wal-Mart and get a few last min things and eat lunch then we will go to the hospital. So that's what we did, after paying for the last min items we needed, we headed to Chick-fil-a to order some lunch. I knew that once I was at the hospital that they wouldn't let me eat until I had the baby, so I needed to make sure that my tummy was happy.
On the way to the hospital I felt a little foolish because I wasn't in major pain yet and I kinda felt like a wimp for going in before I was dying of pain. But my contractions were 3 mins apart and 35-45 sec and I knew that I should be monitored. They got us checked in and up to the triage area, where I gave them a specimen, was checked, and the amniotic fluid was collected to be examined. We stayed in the triage area for a while until there was a room available.
Once in the room, my contractions kind of slowed down. I wanted to walk but was told that they needed to check with the midwife. I kept waiting for the answer from the midwife, but I never got it. An IV was placed in my hand, it burned a whole lot...I thought my whole hand was on fire. Saline was running as well as an antibiotic because I was GBS +. I thought maybe the antibiotic made it burn, but after it had stopped infusing, my hand was still on fire. I asked for the IV to be placed somewhere else. A very kind nurse named Maulee (she was from Jamaica) placed another IV on the inside of my forearm and it felt better than the one placed in my hand.
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Around 4pm my nurse, Dawna, came into the room and with a very demanding tone, told me that she was going to start pitocin. I told her no, that I would like to try some natural methods for helping the contractions move along. She was very mean and said, "Your midwife already talked to you about pitocin and you guys consented and I need to start it now because you're not progressing!" I asked her if I could walk. She continued to TELL me that she was going to start pitocin and that I had been ruptured for a while now and nothing was happening. Again, can I walk!? Well, you're at risk for an infection once your water has broken and so pitocin needs to be started, I already talked to your midwife, she continued. My birth coach piped in and explained that we wanted to try natural things to get my labor going first. Boy, Dawna was NOT happy about that, and told Heather (birth coach), "Excuse me, who are you!?" Heather explained who she was and told Dawna that she needs to take it down a notch because in our birth plan quiet voices are to be used. Dawna was not happy to be told to tone it down. She said that pitocin needed to be used or else she'll call the midwife. "So basically you're not going to let me walk!?" I said. After that, she LET me walk, but wasn't happy about it and told me that I only could walk for 20 mins. During the walking my contractions did pick up, but once I was told to lay back down in the bed they stalled again. Dawna was very adamant about starting pitocin, we asked to talk to the midwife, Dawna was clearly agitated. While waiting for the midwife, I concentrated on relaxing, which was hard to do with a nurse like Dawna. Mick, our midwife came in and apologized, because she had not, in fact, talked to us about pitocin. I explained to Mick, that I didn't mind using pitocin, but first, I don't want to be bullied into using it and secondly, I wanted to exhaust all of my natural options first. I asked if there was something else we could do before pitocin. Mick was very understanding and said we could try the breast pump, but they would have to try and find one that wasn't currently being used in the family beginnings part of L&D. While they tried to find a pump, my birth coach suggested that everyone give Mr H. and I alone time to try to stimulate the contractions naturally.
Once the breast pump was ready so was shift change...THANK GOODNESS! Danielle was my new nurse, it was like day and night compared to Dawna. Danielle wheeled in the breast pump and the gadgets that went with it and helped me hook it up to myself. By this time, the contractions were still tolerable but intense. Danielle made me chuckle when I pulled down my gown to put the breast pump on, and she commented, "Oh the baby won't have any problem latching onto these!" We used the pump for an hour, 10 mins on and 10 mins off. I could definitely feel the contractions intensifying and become more frequent. They let my body rest for an hour with no more stimulation to see if that may have kick-started my body into regular contractions. Now this is where my brain starts to go fuzzy...
...I know that eventually my contractions started dying out again and pitocin was our last option. I was happy, though, because we exhausted all of our natural ways of progression. They started it at the minimum dosage (2gtts/min). I remember the contractions intensifying and began breathing hard and moaning through the contractions. I didn't know who was in the room or what was being said because I was really concentrating on relaxing and blowing out the pain. I shifted and changed positions, because all of my pain was in my back. Having experienced normal labor and back labor, I can tell you that back labor SUCKS more! There were people taking turns rubbing and massaging my lower back and legs, which I appreciate. Heather was a great coach, talked to me gently, gave me places to go in my mind, she was amazing. I was sitting on the birthing ball leaning on the side of the bed, breathing through the contractions, but eventually they got to a certain point when I couldn't take it anymore and I asked for Nubain. I LOVE Nubain, I had it with KK, and it was just enough to kind of take the edge off for a little while and give my body a break and that's what I needed. It was about midnight and I had been in labor since earlier in the day, I was tired and needed to rest my eyes. After the medication I was finally able to close my eyes and rest for about an hour. It was a wonderful hour...it was! But I could tell when the meds wore off because the contractions were intense and they woke me up.
After laboring for an hour without any more medication, I realized that I couldn't do it anymore they were so intense and I was so tired. I broke down and asked for an epidural, it was around 2:30am, about 16 hours after my water broke. I kind of felt like I was giving up that I was a wuss, but it was so intense I thought I was going to die. The initial poke of the numbing needle made me jump but the contractions I felt as I was curled up made it really difficult to sit still. Once everything was in place both of my legs were becoming very numb and dead. I needed help getting settled back into the bed. I began to feel nauseous and threw up everything in my stomach, Mr H. was right by my side through all of it, even rubbing my shoulder as I puked (He MUST love me!). I was so tired that once the epidural took effect, I closed my eyes and was knocked out for a little while. I'm pretty sure that everyone else took a little nap too.
I wasn't able to get into a deep sleep, I could still feel pressure, I still needed vitals taken, and because I had an epidural I needed to be straight cathed every couple hours to make sure my bladder didn't get too full. I missed my KK very much. I hadn't seen him since early Friday morning after putting him in the bus. I know he was being taken care of, but I still missed him lots!
Shift change was at 7am and we were bummed that Danielle wasn't going to be our nurse who helped our baby into the world, she had been great and respected our wishes. She knew, however, that we did NOT want anyone like Dawna, so she made sure we got a nurse who would be like minded as her. Our nurse was Lisa, who had someone orienting with her, was nice and they continued monitoring me. They checked me and I was a 7, so I was told to rest. I was excited to be a 7 because before that, I had been a 5 with no more progress.
Around 11am (I think!?) I started to feel some pressure and I asked to be checked and I was at a 10. JM texted my dad to let him know I was ready to push very soon. Even though I was at a 10, the baby was still high so they let me labor down. After laboring down for about 20 mins, I started to feel some pretty good pressure. I was checked and given the go-ahead to push, but Mr H. needed to run to the bathroom real quick. Once he got back he saw KK and my dad in the hallway and brought KK into the room so that I could see him really quick before I started pushing. It was so great seeing him, I missed him soo super much! Once everything was situated I was given the green light to push. The first push I blew out my air, instead of holding my breath, the midwife had me stop in the middle of that push and try again on the next contraction. With the first real push I had the baby's head out, baby was suctioned, and the next contraction and push had the rest of the body out. The baby was laid on my chest and it was so beautiful!
I was a little worried at first because the baby had a hard time breathing and moving the mucous out of its lungs. The apgar scores were 8 and 9. I finally lifted the baby up to see the gender and was pleasantly surprise to see boy parts, I cried, "It's a boy!" During the whole pregnancy I thought the baby was a girl but was so happy to have a healthy little boy! I was just in awe with my little boy! I tore pretty good on both labia's and needed to be stitched up. My birth coach needed to leave and go be with her family, I was grateful for all the help she gave me. Mr H.'s reaction to seeing his first born son being brought into this world was priceless. He was so emotional, it made me love him so much more...to see how much he valued and treasured this experience is just too difficult to put into words. He got it! He understood what a miracle this precious spirit is.
Once I was stitched up and decent my dad and KK came into the room to see the new baby. I was so happy to see KK's reaction when he finally met his little brother. He was over the moon!
Hello World! Meet Emron Thomas Hilsdorf, born August 31 at 11:54 am. He weighed 7 pounds and 14 ounces and was 19.5 inches long.
I had an OB appt, and was checked and was 4cm dilated, 70% effaced, and 0 station, no further progress from last week. But Jeremy did say that he thought it would be "anytime soon" which could be between today and 2 weeks from now. We asked if there was anything more we could do to speed things along...a chiropractic adjustment was mentioned along with other things, using a breast pump, evening primrose oil, massage, etc.
After the OB appt I had to pick up KK from school because he had a dentist appt and the follow up from his nose being cauterized. At the dentist, he had a cleaning and they found no cavities! I was so super excited. We've been trying to do better with brushing his teeth, now we just have to be better with flossing. After the dentist we went to Goodwill and I found a crib set that I really liked and it is gender neutral so I bought it. KK's ENT appt went very well, everything looks like it is healing beautifully and the doctor said he doesn't need to see him back unless he starts having bloody noses again. But from the surgery until now, he has had 1 very small bloody nose.
KK had soccer practice later on in the day and after that my parents met us back at our house. My dad wanted to go swimming and my mom was going to teach me to can tomatoes, since I had a TON of ripened tomatoes that needed to be used before it was too late. So while Dad, Mr H., and KK went to the pool, my mom and I started canning the tomatoes. Although, I should say, my mom pretty much did all of the work. My back was in soo much pain, it had been progressively becoming more painful for a couple of days. So, mom had me sit and relax a bit and she just canned the tomatoes for me. I LOVE my mom!
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Friday, August 30
I tossed and turned ALL night, I was so uncomfortable...my lower back and pelvis were killing me, not to mention all of the bathroom runs in the middle of the night. I probably woke up every hour just trying to find a comfortable position. I know that I tossed so much that I woke Mr H. I claimed more than half of the bed...Mr H was so scrunched up on his side of the bed, I know it wasn't comfortable for him either. I couldn't help it though...and he's a good sport, he just felt so bad that I couldn't get comfortable or get any sleep. I woke up to my back hurting so badly...he suggested that I call his chiropractor and see if they could squeeze me in today. I am lucky that the chiropractor is in our church family (ward) and he was able to squeeze me in for 9:15 am.
Once at the appointment, he took a look at me and was telling me that I should have seen him earlier because my right leg was about an inch shorter than my left and that could be the reason behind my pelvic pain. He told me that I was so off, that I would need for come in a couple more times for adjustments just to get things right...he also said to come in after I have the baby to make everything better and aligned after labor.
After the adjustment I scheduled another for next Friday and then headed to McDonalds for breakfast...because it was on the way and I had a few other things I needed to do. After picking that up, I headed to Wal-Greens to pick up KK's allergy medicine, pay for it, then when I walked to the car I felt a trickle in the middle of the parking lot. "Hmmm...that's weird" I thought! So I jumped into the car took a look at the time, 10:12 am and drove to the gas station, got out to start pumping and more trickling...I don't think I was wetting my pants, but maybe I could be!? I was about 85% certain that my water broke. So after pumping gas, I came home and tried to clean myself up in the bathroom. I sat on the toilet and called Mr H. to tell him the news, mind you, I had just called him about 10 mins ago to tell him I was done at the chiropractors office and how that went. So, when I called this time, he was joking with his co-workers saying that hopefully I was calling to say my water broke...and that's exactly what I said. I told him not to rush home though...that I didn't feel any contractions yet. The plan was to do most of the labor at home and just go to the hospital when it was unbearable.
I hopped in the shower to make sure that I was presentable and clean before things started progressing further. After the shower, I tried putting on my bottom under clothes and a gush of amniotic fluid squirted onto the carpet next to my bed. I just laid a towel over it, until I was able to clean it up later. Mr H. came home fairly quickly and helped me clean up the mess and help finish packing the hospital bag. The contractions had started, but they weren't bad at all...very tolerable. I let my birth coach know that my water broke and told her that we would let her know when we were heading to the hospital. I was still up and walking around, with a huge beach towel between my legs. I stripped my bed sheets and started them in the wash...I wanted clean sheets when I came home from the hospital. Mr H. was keeping track of the contractions, how far apart they were and how long they lasted. I made sure that my dad would be able to pick up KK from school, I called the school and let them know KK would be parent pick up. It's a good thing my dad took Friday off because of the holiday weekend. Mr H and I discussed when we should go to the hospital, he wanted to go now (contractions were about 5 min apart and 35-45 seconds) and I wanted to wait...because they were tolerable. So he convinced me that we should go to Wal-Mart and get a few last min things and eat lunch then we will go to the hospital. So that's what we did, after paying for the last min items we needed, we headed to Chick-fil-a to order some lunch. I knew that once I was at the hospital that they wouldn't let me eat until I had the baby, so I needed to make sure that my tummy was happy.
On the way to the hospital I felt a little foolish because I wasn't in major pain yet and I kinda felt like a wimp for going in before I was dying of pain. But my contractions were 3 mins apart and 35-45 sec and I knew that I should be monitored. They got us checked in and up to the triage area, where I gave them a specimen, was checked, and the amniotic fluid was collected to be examined. We stayed in the triage area for a while until there was a room available.
Once in the room, my contractions kind of slowed down. I wanted to walk but was told that they needed to check with the midwife. I kept waiting for the answer from the midwife, but I never got it. An IV was placed in my hand, it burned a whole lot...I thought my whole hand was on fire. Saline was running as well as an antibiotic because I was GBS +. I thought maybe the antibiotic made it burn, but after it had stopped infusing, my hand was still on fire. I asked for the IV to be placed somewhere else. A very kind nurse named Maulee (she was from Jamaica) placed another IV on the inside of my forearm and it felt better than the one placed in my hand.
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| Once contractions started picking up, Mr H. continued to be very encouraging |
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| Helping me through the contractions |
...I know that eventually my contractions started dying out again and pitocin was our last option. I was happy, though, because we exhausted all of our natural ways of progression. They started it at the minimum dosage (2gtts/min). I remember the contractions intensifying and began breathing hard and moaning through the contractions. I didn't know who was in the room or what was being said because I was really concentrating on relaxing and blowing out the pain. I shifted and changed positions, because all of my pain was in my back. Having experienced normal labor and back labor, I can tell you that back labor SUCKS more! There were people taking turns rubbing and massaging my lower back and legs, which I appreciate. Heather was a great coach, talked to me gently, gave me places to go in my mind, she was amazing. I was sitting on the birthing ball leaning on the side of the bed, breathing through the contractions, but eventually they got to a certain point when I couldn't take it anymore and I asked for Nubain. I LOVE Nubain, I had it with KK, and it was just enough to kind of take the edge off for a little while and give my body a break and that's what I needed. It was about midnight and I had been in labor since earlier in the day, I was tired and needed to rest my eyes. After the medication I was finally able to close my eyes and rest for about an hour. It was a wonderful hour...it was! But I could tell when the meds wore off because the contractions were intense and they woke me up.
Saturday August 31
After laboring for an hour without any more medication, I realized that I couldn't do it anymore they were so intense and I was so tired. I broke down and asked for an epidural, it was around 2:30am, about 16 hours after my water broke. I kind of felt like I was giving up that I was a wuss, but it was so intense I thought I was going to die. The initial poke of the numbing needle made me jump but the contractions I felt as I was curled up made it really difficult to sit still. Once everything was in place both of my legs were becoming very numb and dead. I needed help getting settled back into the bed. I began to feel nauseous and threw up everything in my stomach, Mr H. was right by my side through all of it, even rubbing my shoulder as I puked (He MUST love me!). I was so tired that once the epidural took effect, I closed my eyes and was knocked out for a little while. I'm pretty sure that everyone else took a little nap too.
I wasn't able to get into a deep sleep, I could still feel pressure, I still needed vitals taken, and because I had an epidural I needed to be straight cathed every couple hours to make sure my bladder didn't get too full. I missed my KK very much. I hadn't seen him since early Friday morning after putting him in the bus. I know he was being taken care of, but I still missed him lots!
Shift change was at 7am and we were bummed that Danielle wasn't going to be our nurse who helped our baby into the world, she had been great and respected our wishes. She knew, however, that we did NOT want anyone like Dawna, so she made sure we got a nurse who would be like minded as her. Our nurse was Lisa, who had someone orienting with her, was nice and they continued monitoring me. They checked me and I was a 7, so I was told to rest. I was excited to be a 7 because before that, I had been a 5 with no more progress.
Around 11am (I think!?) I started to feel some pressure and I asked to be checked and I was at a 10. JM texted my dad to let him know I was ready to push very soon. Even though I was at a 10, the baby was still high so they let me labor down. After laboring down for about 20 mins, I started to feel some pretty good pressure. I was checked and given the go-ahead to push, but Mr H. needed to run to the bathroom real quick. Once he got back he saw KK and my dad in the hallway and brought KK into the room so that I could see him really quick before I started pushing. It was so great seeing him, I missed him soo super much! Once everything was situated I was given the green light to push. The first push I blew out my air, instead of holding my breath, the midwife had me stop in the middle of that push and try again on the next contraction. With the first real push I had the baby's head out, baby was suctioned, and the next contraction and push had the rest of the body out. The baby was laid on my chest and it was so beautiful!
I was a little worried at first because the baby had a hard time breathing and moving the mucous out of its lungs. The apgar scores were 8 and 9. I finally lifted the baby up to see the gender and was pleasantly surprise to see boy parts, I cried, "It's a boy!" During the whole pregnancy I thought the baby was a girl but was so happy to have a healthy little boy! I was just in awe with my little boy! I tore pretty good on both labia's and needed to be stitched up. My birth coach needed to leave and go be with her family, I was grateful for all the help she gave me. Mr H.'s reaction to seeing his first born son being brought into this world was priceless. He was so emotional, it made me love him so much more...to see how much he valued and treasured this experience is just too difficult to put into words. He got it! He understood what a miracle this precious spirit is.
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| This is KK's reaction to hearing the baby cry for the first time. I don't think I have EVER seen a more excited face on him than this one! |
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| KK listening to the crying baby out in the hallway. Notice the sandals he is wearing are mine! lol |
Once I was stitched up and decent my dad and KK came into the room to see the new baby. I was so happy to see KK's reaction when he finally met his little brother. He was over the moon!
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| I wish this picture was more clear, Mr H. was so happy to see his baby, he just couldn't get enough |
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| First Family Photo |
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| I love these boys |
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| My children! I get to say children and not child now! |
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| I was so glad that it is done and he is here |
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| Watching the nurse take the baby's vitals |
Hello World! Meet Emron Thomas Hilsdorf, born August 31 at 11:54 am. He weighed 7 pounds and 14 ounces and was 19.5 inches long.
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