On the Road to Recovery

When I was pregnant with ET, I felt overwhelmed like a lot of new moms, what to pack for the hospital, what's the birth plan, another c-section or VBAC, how was the birth going to go, recovery?  Tons of questions and some wouldn't be answered until the baby was delivered.  There was a lot of reading and a lot of talking to others.  I don't think it helped my anxiety reading about other peoples horror stories about birth and recovery, I even had my very own Horror Story.  And every single person's experience is different, it was hard to get an idea of what I should expect. Therefore, I didn't know what to expect when I did give birth.

I knew that I wanted to try for a VBAC, I did NOT want another c-section.  That was too difficult for me to recover from, granted, a normal (non-critical emergency) c-section may be an easier recovery than I had, as well as taking time to heal (I went back to work one week after having KK!).  I knew the only reason for a c-section for baby #2 was if there was no other choice (for the baby's safety, my safety, etc).

I knew that I wanted to try a natural birth.  I didn't know if I would be able to last very long but I wanted to see how far I could go before asking for an epidural, because in my birth plan, I didn't want anyone to suggest drugs to me.  I wanted to ask for them when it became unbearable.  I was afraid that if someone suggested something that I would cave in and I didn't want to cave, until I just couldn't take it anymore.

I also knew that I wanted to have a birth coach with me, to help me focus my energy and to remind me to relax and breath.  This was Mr H.'s first birth experience and he had no idea what he was getting himself into.  I wanted to have someone forcing me to stay on task and she was able to.  I also needed someone who was going to be my advocate and she was able to do that too.

Once I had ET, I felt great.  I didn't know a person could feel that good after having a baby.  I seriously wanted to do it again!  That's crazy talk, but I really wanted to give birth again!  I must have had special hormones running through me, but I told Mr H. that I couldn't wait to get pregnant and have another baby!  I NEVER felt like that after KK.  It was such a high!  And because of the epidural, I didn't quite feel the pain.  And even once the epidural faded, the pain was tolerable as long as I took my medication, although, a couple times I had to ask for vicodin because the motrin wasn't strong enough.

Going to the bathroom (#1) was alright for the most part as long as I had that warm water spray bottle to spray on myself.  Showers helped too.  I never used the sitz bath or the tucks pads but brought both of them home.  Showers were great, being able to get clean made me feel like another woman and the warm water helped with the pain.  Most of the pain came from ripping, I was so swollen...but that's what happens!  The whole time, I kept thinking, that this recovery was WAY better than a c-section!  After having a VBAC, I could never chose a c-section.

While at home, recovery continued and was tolerable as long as I took my medication.  Even when ET ate, I couldn't feel my uterus contracting.  I still continued to use the warm water spray when using the bathroom.  And finally when I went #2, it was scary but wasn't as bad as I was expecting.

This recovery has been better than I could have hoped for.  I've been able to move around, get up and down, walk KK to the school bus, do a bit of housework, bend over, etc.  I feel like I can do anything...although, Mr H. won't let me.  He makes me sit down and rest, he knows that I will push myself too much.  He's been taking great care of me.  I'm lucky to have him.

Today, at 16 days post delivery, I feel probably about 90% recovered.  I haven't taken any medication in 3 days, the swelling is down, the bathroom trips aren't scary anymore, I'm able to carry the carseat without difficulties, and I'm getting out and about a lot.  I've also lost 21 pounds so far!  I am grateful for this speedy recovery.  I know that my experience with recovery is NOT what all woman go through but I'm hoping that this is typical for me, for the sake of the next child and the next.

Week 17

The last post was a downer so I thought I would end my night with what we've been up to.  We've been very busy and I usually fall asleep around 10pm so I've had no time to blog. 

Mr H. is still working and taking 3 college classes.  That has been keeping him very busy.  He hasn't been able to go flying as much as he's wanted to, the weather hasn't cooperated and when it does, it's on a day he is busy with work, homework, or night classes.  He's very adamant about taking a break from classes over the summer, which will be like a breath of fresh air.  It'll be nice to have him around more often.  KK loves him so much and he is such a great dad to him.  When he comes home, KK takes his hand and asks him to play GI Joes, Army guys, or Pirates with him.  So Mr H. plays with KK for about 20 mins before doing anything else.  It makes my heart happy to see KK loved so much by a GOOD man!

 

I have been working 12 hour shifts at one of the local hospitals in the Emergency Room.  I LOVE it.  I can see myself being an ER or trauma nurse.  The 2 things that I have learned and value are that I love to see outside and I love getting a lunch.  I was assigned with one preceptor and we never got lunches or got out on time.  It was annoying and hard for me especially being pregnant, I needed to eat and have that rest period.  Than right after my spring break she told me that the next day was her last and I was in a panic because I NEED a preceptor in order to be at the hospital and I only had 5 more shifts left.  Luckily I was assigned a new one quickly and she is awesome, we ALWAYS take a lunch and we get out on time.  Now I only need 3 more 12's and I am finished at the hospital.  I have a paper to write but after that, I'm pretty much finished and will be able to graduate in 33 more days!  Not that I am counting down or anything!

 

KK had a concert on Monday.  I recorded it, but I haven't uploaded it yet.  It was so special, they have been working on those songs this whole year.  At the end of the concert I cried.  He is getting to be such a big boy and he is growing up and that makes me happy and sad at the same time.  I love this boy so much.



 

IDK what that face is for, but the theme of his concert was, "It's not about you, it's not about me, it's about we!"  There was a photographer who took 2 photos of each and every child, showing their personality, in their school and these were the 2 photos of KK.  That bottom one cracks me up. 

 

Moving on, KK had part of his filling come out yesterday when we were flossing and he said, "What's this rock doing in my teeth!?"  Oops!  So we got him into an urgent dentist office today and they fixed him up.  He got a palate shot and cried for a bit.  He wanted me to hold him while it took effect so I held him for about 10 mins...man that boy is getting so heavy.  He did great though.  He told me that he liked that place better than he regular dentist, so we might be going there from now on for him they also use composite rather than amalgam so it's not noticed as much which made me happy.  He was a tough boy and he even said he wants to be a dentist!  So it didn't scare him away, which I am glad for.

While both Mr H. and I were finishing up some homework KK came to show me what he did.  It reminded me of Mel Gibson's character in Braveheart.  I told KK to go to the kitchen, where Mr H. was and yell, "They can take our lives, but they can't take our freedom!"  He runs out there and says, "They can take our lives but they can't take our....what!?"  And ran back into the room...I was dying laughing. 

Nugget is 17 weeks today.  I feel good besides my pelvic pain.  My right hip and pubic bone hurt.  I'm sure it will get worse. I have been feeling the baby a lot and the baby is becoming stronger and bigger.  Currently it's the size of an onion.  KK is so happy and excited for the baby, he kisses my belly and tells it, "I love you"  He is so sweet.  Mr H. is the same way.  He has to kiss and rub on my belly.  I'm just surprised by how big I have gotten the 2nd time around.  April 11th is our dating ultrasound.  We're not finding out the gender so we're just making sure that the baby is still on track for a due date in the beginning of September. 





Night Flight

So, Mr H. finished his PPL...YEAH!  And July 21st, I let Mr H. take us up on a night flight.  He really had to bribe me because the last time I was on a flight with him, I was freaking out.  I hate take offs, descending, and the bumps in the air...it makes knots in my stomach.  So, I told Mr H. that it would take something very special to get me back up in the air and so this is what he bought me:

Oh, Mr H., how can I say no to a Vera Bradley purse!?  He has good taste, doesn't he!?  So, after bribing, he chose a day where the weather would be smooth for me.  He decided that a night flight would be best.  KK wanted to come too, he was so excited.  I was a bit nervous because if something happened, that's my whole family.  Every person in that plane I love dearly and would hate for something to happen.  But I do trust Mr H. with my family's lives and he promised that it would be a smooth flight.  

Pretending to fly

We decided to go to Richmond, IN.  The reason we chose to go to Indiana is because I am still working on these Goals (#40) and I want to visit 10 states.  So far I've visited Michigan, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia, and now Indiana.  4 more to go! 

Goofy Face

Mr H. getting the plane ready for take-off

Goofy face

Once we were up in the air I was still a bit nervous but being able to have my headset to talk and listen to everything really helped calm me down.  KK loved it, he was talking up a storm.  At random times he would just start giggling.  It was the best thing in the world to hear him that excited. 

OH

YEAH

And just before we got to Richmond, IN he told us that he was going to close his eyes, "for 2 mins". 

ZZZZZZZ

He slept the rest of the ride.  We put him to bed and soon followed suit.  It was a beautiful flight with no bumps, it was THE smoothest flight ever.  I enjoyed it a lot.  

My Heavy Heart

This week I've had a heavy heart.  The only way I can describe it is, I feel that I am May Boatwright in the book The Secret Life of Bees.  I feel that I need a wailing wall...or this blog!

The shooting in Aurora, CO.  When I heard this, my heart just dropped.  I don't know anyone who was involved but I just felt sickened.  I couldn't imagine enjoying the night seeing a movie with friends or a loved one and experiencing that.  There were children in the theater for goodness sake.  I understand that I wouldn't take my child to a midnight showing, but those other parents did and...it's just awful.  I'm not sure why I've been sick to my stomach thinking about this, but I have.  I've been praying for victims and their families. 

Another aspect of the shooting that has my stomach in knots is the shooter himself.  I know I haven't talked a lot about G in a while and there is a reason.  I'm not sure if I'm ready to open up fully about him but he no longer lives with us and now lives with his mother in Arizona.  We made that choice after he raised his fist to me.  W had seen a progressively unstable mood, dispite the fact that he was seeing a therapist for over a year, he was on medication, and he was under the care of a physician.  Learning of the shooter in Colorado made me instantly think of G.  I know some of you reading this may think that I'm over-reacting and he can't be THAT bad, but I promise you, that he really is!  Moving on though...

I want to tell you about a friend of mine.  Her name is Jenn Gibbons and she embarked on a journey June 15 to be the first person to row solo the perimeter (that's 1,500 miles!) around Lake Michigan in order to raise awareness about the importance that exercise plays in reducing breast cancer recurrence.  Her goal is to raise $150,000 on her trip.  Monday (23rd) on her facebook wall this was posted: 

Unfortunately, the Row4ROW team has some sad news to report and we need your help. Jenn was set to row to Beaver Island on Sunday morning but was attacked and sexually assaulted by a man in the early morning hours. Investigators have reason to believe the assailant traveled a significant distance to commit the assault. The suspect is described as a white male in his 30s, approximately 5’8” to 6’ t...all, with a fair amount of facial stubble hair, but not a full beard nor mustache. The man has light eyes, an average to athletic build and shorter well-kept hair. He was wearing a grayish green t-shirt, jean shorts and tennis shoes. A bright yellow Jeep Wrangler was seen in the area. It has a spare tire on the back with a yellow smiley face on it. Investigators are seeking information about this vehicle. Anyone with information or investigative leads please call the Michigan State Police toll-free at 1-866-411-0018. Please know that Jenn is safe and in good hands. A statement from her about the trip and future plans will be made very soon. Please re-post and help us find this criminal. Thank you for your continued support of Row4ROW.

I was very saddened and sick to my stomach when I heard this news.  She is a strong woman because the next day she wrote this:

I have always tried to be transparent and honest about the obstacles of this trip in the hope that my openness and vulnerability might give someone strength or inspiration in their fight against cancer, or in pursuing a dream.

I know that I had a choice in telling people about the details of my attack, particularly that it was a sexual assault. To go through this at all, let alone publicly, is extremely difficult. I chose to talk about it in the hope that someone might be able to provide more information about the person who did this to me.

Thank you for the endless amounts of support, prayers, and love. Please know that I am in the best of hands–with my family and in the protection of the Michigan State Police.

I still believe that there are more good people in the world than bad.

I still believe that life is a gift, even when it’s scary and unfair. I still believe that life offers us the privilege, the opportunity, and the responsibility, to give something back, even when people try to take things away from us.

Regarding the trip, one thing hasn’t changed: I’ve still got this. But the trip plan will change in a few ways to ensure my safety.

Most importantly, I will no longer be alone.

Tomorrow, Liv will be trailered to a secure location in Muskegon, Michigan until I can continue the trip on water sometime next week. From that point to Chicago we can ensure my safety on water since we’re confident that there are enough harbors and enough resources and volunteers to make it possible. Because we are unsure that I can be kept safe on the water in the miles between where I am currently and the point at which I will start rowing again, I will tackle them on land.

With thanks to a generous donor and the support of amazing volunteers, later this week I will continue traveling Lake Michigan’s perimeter by bicycle. A support crew will accompany me and ensure my safety day in and day out. When I get to Muskegon, Liv and I will reunite and keep pushing to get to Chicago sometime in mid-August, as we had originally planned.

My chin is up, my eyes are open, and we’re going to get this show back on the road (then water).

GO ROW.

She is a strong and amazing person...I am grateful to have a friend like her.  I am hoping that my heavy heart will stop being so heavy.  I've just been in this funk and I can't seem to get out of it.  Tomorrow Mr H. and I have a meeting with the Stake President.  I'm hoping that it's about the cancelation of sealing.  I'm really not sure what's it's about and that makes me nervous.  I am, however, getting an hour long massage.  Hopefully that will ease some of my built up tension...

Capturing Memories

"In America, there are two classes of travel: First class, and with children." -- Robert Benchley

I saw this quote and laughed because it's true.  Last week KK and I went to Virginia.  We left June 18th and didn't come back until the 25th.  The GPS says it's about a 9 hour drive, we made it there in 11.  Traveling with a child, by myself, proved to be more difficult than I thought.  I left at 5:30am and KK stayed awake the WHOLE time...after 2 hours in the car we were playing the, "when are we there yet," game.  It was rough, but we made it. 

Once there, we settled down for a bit and went with Grandma Lisa to Zumba.  KK had been stuck in the car all day and needed to use some energy.  He LOVED Zumba and wants to come with me next time I go.  After Zumba we took a shower, ate tacos, and went to bed.

Tuesday June 19
Today we woke up late and Grandma Lisa made KK eggs for breakfast and I was happily surprised when KK brought a plate of eggs to me (I was still in bed).  It made me smile to have eggs made for me...it was a great way to start the morning.   We took our time getting ready for the day.  Once ready, we went to where Lisa works.  She wanted to show off KK, she figured since she talks about him all of the time she should probably bring him by for her co-wrokers to meet.  The last time they've seen him, he was 5 months old!  KK got lots of hugs and became VERY shy...the best part of his day?  All of the suckers!  Lisa works at a bank and everyone gave him suckers.  Matter-of-fact, I still have some of the suckers in my purse!  Once the running around was done, we came home.  KK and Lisa played outside.  I brought his bike on this trip and he showed Grandma how he can ride a 2-wheeler!  I, went and took a 4 hour nap!  4 HOURS!  I was tired.  We ate left-overs and planned our day for tomorrow and then went to bed

Wednesday June 20
Today we went to Washington DC. We met Pop pop (Ed) at his work first so that he could park the car in the garage. He needed to get back to work so Lisa, KK, and I took the metro to The National Zoo. KK LOVED the metro! His favorite part was standing and holding onto the bar while the train was moving.  

The longest escalator I've ever seen

The train was coming!

The Zoo was a lot of fun. We saw a ton of animals. We were able to hear a lion roar, which was awesome! KK loved all of the animals but was excited to see the pandas. Once we got to the pandas, though, he didn't seems as excited. It was so hot and humid. We kept ourselves hydrated and the mist stations helped. Lisa's soda exploded all over me...that was unexpected lol. We were able to see all sorts of different animals.  

He loves that thing

Did I mention that it was HOT!?

See the ape in the glass. It was so cute

We got some relief from the heat inside

My handsome boy!

I love him!

He did not want to get near this!

After the zoo, we went to The Museum of Natural History. Again, KK was able to ride the Metro:

At the museum we saw a bunch of animals that no longer are living. KK loved the Wooly Mammoth. When we were in the insect exhibit he had a bloody nose out of nowhere. So we took care of that and proceeded to the rest of the areas. 

We walked all over and I saw this couple with very bright hair and decided to take their picture. 

I liked looking at the hope diamond but KK didn't want anything to do with it. So all I got was a simple picture. 

Also in the basement of the museum there are birds native to the DC area. KK saw this owl and said, "Hedwig!" He really is my son. I had to get his picture next to the "Harry Potter" owl. 

After the museum we decided to go to Chipotle.  KK loved the quesadilla and had 2!  He was a hungry boy.  After dinner we went home and relaxed because the next two days were going to be filled with more great adventures. 

Thursday June 21
Today we woke up and no one was home. Lisa and KK went to purchase sand buckets. Ed went for a run. Have I mentioned that he runs...A LOT? He just recently finished a 50 mile marathon a couple weeks ago. Once everyone was home we packed up in the car to go to Virginia Beach. I had packed everything of KK's and mine the night before. He was very excited. I was very tired because I had a hard time falling alseep the night before. I had stayed up watching Harry Potter and reading Wicked. Once we were packed up we headed off for Virginia Beach.  These are some goofy photos we took while driving.

Eventually KK fell asleep and missed the tunnel that we drove through that goes underneath the water!  Once we reached our destination, we checked into the hotel then got ready to go to the beach.  KK was still tired but still very very excited!  This picture pretty much sums up how KK felt about the ocean.  He didn't want to leave!  We had to explain to him that we would be back the next day. 

 Once back at the hotel we all took a shower and pretty much brought the beach back with us. I haf so much sand in crevices it was awful. But after the shower I felt MUCH better. Wendy's was our stop for dinner. The we went back to the hotel to ger some rest for the next day.

Pose for me how much you like the beach

Friday June 22
Today we ate breakfast in the lobby of the hotel.  KK only wanted the yogurt and hard boiled eggs (white part only).  We packed up, checked out, and went back to the beach.  I went shopping for a while and bought sunglasses, a bag, boogie board, couple of shirts, and hats.  Once I came back from shopping it was lunch time for KK.  I ate McDonalds and had to wait to go back in the water.  He didn't want to wait after he saw that boogie board.  I wish that I had gotten more pictures of him on the boogie board, but honestly we were playing in the water and having so much fun that I didn't even think about pictures.  While Grandma Lisa and KK were having fun in the water I was sitting in our spots and in the corner of my eye I thought I saw lightening, but it was so bright and sunny out that I thought it was in my head until I heard the thunder and I saw KK just jump out of that water and come running.  He was out of there and getting everything ready to pack up.  He HATES storms.  "Ok, it's time to pack up...let's go to the car...the storm is coming, let's go"  He was ready to go, the only problem was that Ed decided to go running and we had no way of reaching him and we had so much STUFF (including my shopping) with us that it would make carrying diffucult.  But the lifeguards told us that they were closing the beach so Lisa and I had to try carrying everything, which we were able to manage.  The storm had come in fast because the wind was starting to blow and we just figured that Ed would realize that we were at the car, so while we waited we packed up so once he got there we could just hit the road.  I helped KK change into clean clothes and I tried getting all the sand I could off of him.  KK was a little better once we got to the car but he was still worried about Pop pop.  The ipad helped to distract him until Ed showed up and we were able to leave before the storm really hit.  We made it to the highway and the storm came, which meant that we had to go slower and therefore it was going to take longer in the car to reach the house.  KK was kind of getting restless and I let him peel my sunburned skin. 

Once he was done peeling my skin he was all tuckered out.  He didn't have much of a head rest so I kind of made one out of my ball of yarn.  He slept almost the entire way back...which, of course, made falling asleep difficult.

Saturday June 23
This is my message from my facebook status, which summed up the day: Home Monday...it's been fun but I'm excited to be home too. Today we ate at IHOP (since we don't have one close by) and saw Madagascar 3. Caleb also played a little bit of baseball with Grandma and Pop Pop. Highlight of the day...when we went to 7-11 to get a freezy and Caleb totally drop his and it splashed EVERYWHERE...floor, cupboard doors, counter, everywhere....I wanted to die!

Sunday June 24
Woke up around 5am to start the trip home.  I packed everything up in the car last night and all I needed to do was fill up the cooler, get KK buckled in, and make sure I didn't forget anything.  KK was still very tired, which was to my advantage.  I set him up with pillows on all sides of him and he slept 2 1/2 hours.  I was able to make some great time.  Going home was MUCH better than leaving home.  We only took a couple breaks to stretch our legs and eat some snacks.  KK and I had some good conversations...and we saw 'polar bear cows' (all white cows).  We traveled through Virginia, Maryland, Wes Virginia, Pennsylvania, and Ohio.  We stopped in Columbus and got a hotel on our way home because Monday I volunteered to help out at the Bishop's Storehouse.  The hotel had a huge king's size bed.  I was so excited bcause KK is THE BIGGEST bed-hog and let's just say that getting a good night's sleep with him in the bed is nearly impossible because he moves around so much...he also kicks off the covers.  So when I saw the king's size bed I was stoked.  KK wanted to have dinner at Golden Corral.  It was pretty good...I loved the sweet rolls.  We came home and swam in the pool for a while, took a shower, and got ready for bed.  KK fell asleep fast buct I couldn't get to sleep until about 2am!  That was 22 hours awake!  Plus I needed to be at the storehouse at 7!  So eventually I did fall asleep.

Monday June 25
Luckily the hotel had a hot breakfast for us.  We had eggs and bagels we washed it down with cranberry juice.  We worked hard at the storehouse labeling the orders and even shopping for the orders.  Once 9am came around there were tons of people there to help.  KK was getting restless and by 12 he was running around the store and the manager asked me if I could control him more so I decided it was time for us to leave.  There were only 11 more orders left.  We got home...can I just tell you how GOOD it felt to be home!?  We got home just in time for Mr H.'s lunch break.  He came home to see us and he didn't want to go back to work, unfortunatley he did (and he had night classes too so we didn't see him again until 9am).  KK and I spent most of the day at the pool and it was wonderful.