What's in a Name!?

My name is very unique, I could never find keychains with my name on it, people always misspelled it and mispronounced it, and I vowed to never do that to my kids.  Well, I broke that vow with baby #2.  But before go into that, let me explain how my name came into existence.

 When my parents became pregnant with me there were no routine ultrasounds.  Ultrasounds were brand new and used only if the doctors felt there was a problem.  So back in the day, couples would only find out the gender of the baby if they needed an amniocentesis.   My mom never needed an amniocentesis when she was pregnant with me, but my dad KNEW that I was a girl...he just knew it.  So the name game began.  They talked about Camilla, Naomi, and Aubrey.  But one night, as my dad slept, he had a dream.  He had a dream and heard my name and saw how to spell it...Chole (Show-lee).  My dad woke my mom up and told her about it and told her that is what they were going to name me.  And that's how my name came into existence.

Growing up, I really disliked my name, it was hard for people to pronounce it and spell it.  Like lots of kids, I was teased about my name "Holy Moly here comes Chole!"  My parents tried to make me feel special, since I was not able to buy anything with my name on it.  I remember once, when we were at 6-Flags there was a booth where a person would engrave names on a silver ring for $100!  I showed my mom what they were doing, knowing all good and well, that my parents couldn't afford having one made for me.  She must have had her motherly heartstrings pulled because without my knowing, she had one of those rings made for me and later gave it to me.  I was SOOO super excited, I wore that ring all of the time...I still had the ring, up until my divorce, when my X kicked KK and I out of our house.  I must had left that behind because I haven't been able to find it ANYWHERE!  It makes me a little sad when I think about it, but I can't do much about it...I lost a lot during that time, and I'm not just talking about possessions.  But anyway, while growing up, I told myself that I would never name one of my children a unique name that had to be specially made and I couldn't just buy a placard at the store.

Even though I told myself that I would never do that, I changed my mind with child # 2.  While pregnant, we chose not to find out the gender so we had to think of boys names and girls names.  It took a LONG time to figure out what we liked.  Mr H. would suggest something, I didn't like it...I'd suggest a name and he didn't like it.  At one point, we finally decided on middle names we liked and wanted to use.  If the baby was a girl, we like Evelyn as a middle name and Thomas for a boy.  Well, now we had to decide on first names.  On our trip to Epcot in Disney, while we were in Norway, Mr H suggested a girl's name that I REALLY liked, it is a name that is unique.  If we had a girl she would have been named that name.  I was so certain that I was having a girl during this pregnancy that we hardly talked about boys names.  Going into delivery we still thought that it was a girl, so when the baby was delivered and I saw boy parts I was happily shocked.  No disappointment at all, just purely surprised.  Once his cord was cut and he was placed on the heated table Mr H. looked at me and said, "Should we name him Emron, what do you think?"

Emron is a name that I suggested to Mr H. and he didn't like it.  So I kind of scratched it off my list, even though it was my favorite name suggested.  One day, while pregnant, the name just came to me.  I can't explain it...it just popped in my head and I couldn't stop thinking about the name.  I went through all sorts of ways I could spell it.  I suggested the name to Mr H. and asked how it would be spelled, E-M-R-O-N, I said.  I also told him that he would have Mr H's granddads initials E.T., although he was Ervie Thomas.  But still, Mr H., didn't really like it.  But I guess, from the time I suggested the name until the delivery he had been rolling the name around in his head and once the baby made his appearance, Mr H. thought that that name fit our little boy.  I was excited when he asked me if we should name him Emron because I have liked that name since it popped into my head.

I knew that when we named him people would mispronounce his name...that was a given.  I knew people would think it was pronounced as EM-RON, but it's pronounced as EM-REN.  When we announced his birth and the name we chose, a friend said that she likes the name and it's awesome that it's in the Book of Mormon.  Wait what!?  I had NO idea that the name Emron was in the Book of Mormon until she mentioned it.  So naturally I had to look it up and Moroni said that he is a choice man.  I would have to agree, my Emron is a choice man (although he's not a man now, he will be).

I am so excited that this choice spirit is in our lives.  And now that he's here, I couldn't imagine my life without him.

The Birth Story

Warning: This is going to be a very long and TMI-ish post.  So read at your own will, if you don't want to read, you can always scroll down to the pictures!

Thursday, August 29
I had an OB appt, and was checked and was 4cm dilated, 70% effaced, and 0 station, no further progress from last week.  But Jeremy did say that he thought it would be "anytime soon" which could be between today and 2 weeks from now.  We asked if there was anything more we could do to speed things along...a chiropractic adjustment was mentioned along with other things, using a breast pump, evening primrose oil, massage, etc.

After the OB appt I had to pick up KK from school because he had a dentist appt and the follow up from his nose being cauterized.  At the dentist, he had a cleaning and they found no cavities!  I was so super excited.  We've been trying to do better with brushing his teeth, now we just have to be better with flossing.  After the dentist we went to Goodwill and I found a crib set that I really liked and it is gender neutral so I bought it.  KK's ENT appt went very well, everything looks like it is healing beautifully and the doctor said he doesn't need to see him back unless he starts having bloody noses again.  But from the surgery until now, he has had 1 very small bloody nose.

KK had soccer practice later on in the day and after that my parents met us back at our house.  My dad wanted to go swimming and my mom was going to teach me to can tomatoes, since I had a TON of ripened tomatoes that needed to be used before it was too late.  So while Dad, Mr H., and KK went to the pool, my mom and I started canning the tomatoes.  Although, I should say, my mom pretty much did all of the work.  My back was in soo much pain, it had been progressively becoming more painful for a couple of days.  So, mom had me sit and relax a bit and she just canned the tomatoes for me.  I LOVE my mom!

When the boys came back, Mr H. ran to 'Five Guys' to pick up dinner for all of us while KK got dressed and my dad showered in KK's bathroom.  Mom and I ate our food while we waited for some of the jars to set and the others were submerged in the boiling water.  I had to leave for a book club meeting before mom and dad were ready to leave.  From what Mr H told me, mom finished the canning and got KK ready for bed and even read him part of the Harry Potter book we're in the middle of.

Book Club is always fun, it's pretty much talk about the book for a half hour and chit-chat for the rest of the time.  Great food/snacks and great girl time.  I must have been showing signs of being in pain or something because a couple of the girls asked if I was alright.  They even joked about getting a towel for me to sit on just in case.  They all told me that they probably won't see me at church on Sunday...I laughed and told them that this baby was so stubborn that I will probably go into labor at 42 weeks.

Friday, August 30

I tossed and turned ALL night, I was so uncomfortable...my lower back and pelvis were killing me, not to mention all of the bathroom runs in the middle of the night.  I probably woke up every hour just trying to find a comfortable position.  I know that I tossed so much that I woke Mr H.  I claimed more than half of the bed...Mr H was so scrunched up on his side of the bed, I know it wasn't comfortable for him either.  I couldn't help it though...and he's a good sport, he just felt so bad that I couldn't get comfortable or get any sleep.  I woke up to my back hurting so badly...he suggested that I call his chiropractor and see if they could squeeze me in today.  I am lucky that the chiropractor is in our church family (ward) and he was able to squeeze me in for 9:15 am.

Once at the appointment, he took a look at me and was telling me that I should have seen him earlier because my right leg was about an inch shorter than my left and that could be the reason behind my pelvic pain.  He told me that I was so off, that I would need for come in a couple more times for adjustments just to get things right...he also said to come in after I have the baby to make everything better and aligned after labor.

After the adjustment I scheduled another for next Friday and then headed to McDonalds for breakfast...because it was on the way and I had a few other things I needed to do.  After picking that up, I headed to Wal-Greens to pick up KK's allergy medicine, pay for it, then when I walked to the car I felt a trickle in the middle of the parking lot.  "Hmmm...that's weird" I thought!  So I jumped into the car took a look at the time, 10:12 am and drove to the gas station, got out to start pumping and more trickling...I don't think I was wetting my pants, but maybe I could be!?  I was about 85% certain that my water broke.  So after pumping gas, I came home and tried to clean myself up in the bathroom.  I sat on the toilet and called Mr H. to tell him the news, mind you, I had just called him about 10 mins ago to tell him I was done at the chiropractors office and how that went.  So, when I called this time, he was joking with his co-workers saying that hopefully I was calling to say my water broke...and that's exactly what I said.  I told him not to rush home though...that I didn't feel any contractions yet.  The plan was to do most of the labor at home and just go to the hospital when it was unbearable.

I hopped in the shower to make sure that I was presentable and clean before things started progressing further.  After the shower, I tried putting on my bottom under clothes and a gush of amniotic fluid squirted onto the carpet next to my bed.  I just laid a towel over it, until I was able to clean it up later.  Mr H. came home fairly quickly and helped me clean up the mess and help finish packing the hospital bag.  The contractions had started, but they weren't bad at all...very tolerable.  I let my birth coach know that my water broke and told her that we would let her know when we were heading to the hospital.  I was still up and walking around, with a huge beach towel between my legs.  I stripped my bed sheets and started them in the wash...I wanted clean sheets when I came home from the hospital.  Mr H. was keeping track of the contractions, how far apart they were and how long they lasted.  I made sure that my dad would be able to pick up KK from school, I called the school and let them know KK would be parent pick up.  It's a good thing my dad took Friday off because of the holiday weekend.  Mr H and I discussed when we should go to the hospital, he wanted to go now (contractions were about 5 min apart and 35-45 seconds) and I wanted to wait...because they were tolerable.  So he convinced me that we should go to Wal-Mart and get a few last min things and eat lunch then we will go to the hospital.  So that's what we did, after paying for the last min items we needed, we headed to Chick-fil-a to order some lunch.  I knew that once I was at the hospital that they wouldn't let me eat until I had the baby, so I needed to make sure that my tummy was happy.

On the way to the hospital I felt a little foolish because I wasn't in major pain yet and I kinda felt like a wimp for going in before I was dying of pain.  But my contractions were 3 mins apart and 35-45 sec and I knew that I should be monitored.  They got us checked in and up to the triage area, where I gave them a specimen, was checked, and the amniotic fluid was collected to be examined.  We stayed in the triage area for a while until there was a room available.

Once in the room, my contractions kind of slowed down.  I wanted to walk but was told that they needed to check with the midwife.  I kept waiting for the answer from the midwife, but I never got it.  An IV was placed in my hand, it burned a whole lot...I thought my whole hand was on fire.  Saline was running as well as an antibiotic because I was GBS +.  I thought maybe the antibiotic made it burn, but after it had stopped infusing, my hand was still on fire.  I asked for the IV to be placed somewhere else.  A very kind nurse named Maulee (she was from Jamaica) placed another IV on the inside of my forearm and it felt better than the one placed in my hand.

Around 4pm  my nurse, Dawna, came into the room and with a very demanding tone, told me that she was going to start pitocin.  I told her no, that I would like to try some natural methods for helping the contractions move along.  She was very mean and said, "Your midwife already talked to you about pitocin and you guys consented and I need to start it now because you're not progressing!"  I asked her if I could walk.  She continued to TELL me that she was going to start pitocin and that I had been ruptured for a while now and nothing was happening.  Again, can I walk!?  Well, you're at risk for an infection once your water has broken and so pitocin needs to be started, I already talked to your midwife, she continued.  My birth coach piped in and explained that we wanted to try natural things to get my labor going first.  Boy, Dawna was NOT happy about that, and told Heather (birth coach), "Excuse me, who are you!?"  Heather explained who she was and told Dawna that she needs to take it down a notch because in our birth plan quiet voices are to be used.  Dawna was not happy to be told to tone it down.  She said that pitocin needed to be used or else she'll call the midwife.  "So basically you're not going to let me walk!?" I said.  After that, she LET me walk, but wasn't happy about it and told me that I only could walk for 20 mins.  During the walking my contractions did pick up, but once I was told to lay back down in the bed they stalled again.  Dawna was very adamant about starting pitocin, we asked to talk to the midwife, Dawna was clearly agitated.  While waiting for the midwife, I concentrated on relaxing, which was hard to do with a nurse like Dawna.  Mick, our midwife came in and apologized, because she had not, in fact, talked to us about pitocin.  I explained to Mick, that I didn't mind using pitocin, but first, I don't want to be bullied into using it and secondly, I wanted to exhaust all of my natural options first.  I asked if there was something else we could do before pitocin.  Mick was very understanding and said we could try the breast pump, but they would have to try and find one that wasn't currently being used in the family beginnings part of L&D.  While they tried to find a pump, my birth coach suggested that everyone give Mr H. and I alone time to try to stimulate the contractions naturally.

Once contractions started picking up, Mr H. continued to be very encouraging

Helping me through the contractions

Once the breast pump was ready so was shift change...THANK GOODNESS!  Danielle was my new nurse, it was like day and night compared to Dawna.  Danielle wheeled in the breast pump and the gadgets that went with it and helped me hook it up to myself.  By this time, the contractions were still tolerable but intense.  Danielle made me chuckle when I pulled down my gown to put the breast pump on, and she commented, "Oh the baby won't have any problem latching onto these!" We used the pump for an hour, 10 mins on and 10 mins off.  I could definitely feel the contractions intensifying and become more frequent.  They let my body rest for an hour with no more stimulation to see if that may have kick-started my body into regular contractions.  Now this is where my brain starts to go fuzzy...

...I know that eventually my contractions started dying out again and pitocin was our last option.  I was happy, though, because we exhausted all of our natural ways of progression.  They started it at the minimum dosage (2gtts/min).  I remember the contractions intensifying and began breathing hard and moaning through the contractions.  I didn't know who was in the room or what was being said because I was really concentrating on relaxing and blowing out the pain.  I shifted and changed positions, because all of my pain was in my back.  Having experienced normal labor and back labor, I can tell you that back labor SUCKS more!  There were people taking turns rubbing and massaging my lower back and legs, which I appreciate.  Heather was a great coach, talked to me gently, gave me places to go in my mind, she was amazing.  I was sitting on the birthing ball leaning on the side of the bed, breathing through the contractions, but eventually they got to a certain point when I couldn't take it anymore and I asked for Nubain.  I LOVE Nubain, I had it with KK, and it was just enough to kind of take the edge off for a little while and give my body a break and that's what I needed.  It was about midnight and I had been in labor since earlier in the day, I was tired and needed to rest my eyes.  After the medication I was finally able to close my eyes and rest for about an hour.  It was a wonderful hour...it was!  But I could tell when the meds wore off because the contractions were intense and they woke me up.

Saturday August 31

After laboring for an hour without any more medication, I realized that I couldn't do it anymore they were so intense and I was so tired.  I broke down and asked for an epidural, it was around 2:30am, about 16 hours after my water broke.  I kind of felt like I was giving up that I was a wuss, but it was so intense I thought I was going to die.  The initial poke of the numbing needle made me jump but the contractions I felt as I was curled up made it really difficult to sit still.  Once everything was in place both of my legs were becoming very numb and dead.  I needed help getting settled back into the bed.  I began to feel nauseous and threw up everything in my stomach, Mr H. was right by my side through all of it, even rubbing my shoulder as I puked (He MUST love me!).  I was so tired that once the epidural took effect, I closed my eyes and was knocked out for a little while.  I'm pretty sure that everyone else took a little nap too.

I wasn't able to get into a deep sleep, I could still feel pressure, I still needed vitals taken, and because I had an epidural I needed to be straight cathed every couple hours to make sure my bladder didn't get too full.  I missed my KK very much.  I hadn't seen him since early Friday morning after putting him in the bus.  I know he was being taken care of, but I still missed him lots!

Shift change was at 7am and we were bummed that Danielle wasn't going to be our nurse who helped our baby into the world, she had been great and respected our wishes.  She knew, however, that we did NOT want anyone like Dawna, so she made sure we got a nurse who would be like minded as her.  Our nurse was Lisa, who had someone orienting with her, was nice and they continued monitoring me.  They checked me and I was a 7, so I was told to rest.  I was excited to be a 7 because before that, I had been a 5 with no more progress.

Around 11am (I think!?) I started to feel some pressure and I asked to be checked and I was at a 10.  JM texted my dad to let him know I was ready to push very soon.  Even though I was at a 10, the baby was still high so they let me labor down.  After laboring down for about 20 mins, I started to feel some pretty good pressure.  I was checked and given the go-ahead to push, but Mr H. needed to run to the bathroom real quick.  Once he got back he saw KK and my dad in the hallway and brought KK into the room so that I could see him really quick before I started pushing.  It was so great seeing him, I missed him soo super much!  Once everything was situated I was given the green light to push.  The first push I blew out my air, instead of holding my breath, the midwife had me stop in the middle of that push and try again on the next contraction.  With the first real push I had the baby's head out, baby was suctioned, and the next contraction and push had the rest of the body out.  The baby was laid on my chest and it was so beautiful!

I was a little worried at first because the baby had a hard time breathing and moving the mucous out of its lungs.  The apgar scores were 8 and 9.  I finally lifted the baby up to see the gender and was pleasantly surprise to see boy parts, I cried, "It's a boy!"  During the whole pregnancy I thought the baby was a girl but was so happy to have a healthy little boy!  I was just in awe with my little boy!  I tore pretty good on both labia's and needed to be stitched up.  My birth coach needed to leave and go be with her family, I was grateful for all the help she gave me.  Mr H.'s reaction to seeing his first born son being brought into this world was priceless.  He was so emotional, it made me love him so much more...to see how much he valued and treasured this experience is just too difficult to put into words.  He got it!  He understood what a miracle this precious spirit is.

This is KK's reaction to hearing the baby cry for the first time.  I don't think I have EVER seen a more excited face on him than this one!

KK listening to the crying baby out in the hallway.  Notice the sandals he is wearing are mine!  lol

Once I was stitched up and decent my dad and KK came into the room to see the new baby.  I was so happy to see KK's reaction when he finally met his little brother.  He was over the moon!

I wish this picture was more clear, Mr H. was so happy to see his baby, he just couldn't get enough

First Family Photo

I love these boys

My children!  I get to say children and not child now!

I was so glad that it is done and he is here

Watching the nurse take the baby's vitals

  Hello World!  Meet Emron Thomas Hilsdorf, born August 31 at 11:54 am.  He weighed 7 pounds and 14 ounces and was 19.5 inches long.

Nugget Update

Before I begin, I just want to caution those people who might think my details have too much information, so if you think you're one of those, please stop reading now.

Well, towards the end of pregnancy it gets pretty hard to do anything and you're very uncomfortable.  I don't sleep well and end up using the bathroom at least 3 times a night, but most of the time it's about every hour.  I'm in terrible pain all of the time because of my hips and pelvis.  My pubic bone is separated and when I move around at night I can feel the bones grind against each other and sometime it pops and cracks.  Have I mentioned that it's very painful!?  It hurts to stand, walk, sit, and lay.  There are no comfortable positions for me.  I just have to wait for the baby to come....

...and that's where we are right now, waiting for the baby to make its arrival.  I am 39 weeks right now and my due date is September 1st.  At my latest appointment last Thursday said I was still 70% effaced, 0 to +1 station, and 3 to 4 cm dilation.  Now most women are in labor at this point and end up going to the hospital, not me!  With KK, I was dilated to 3 for 3 weeks.  This is week #2 of being 3-4 cm dilated.  I'm curious as to what it will be on Thursday.

My body has had a lot of activity, a lot of cramping/contractions, but nothing regular.  Most of the activity happens in the evening and it stalls by morning.  I even lost my mucous plug, well, part of it on the 17th.  Mom thought for sure I was having the baby within 3 days...nope, the baby is still holding on.  The womb is comfortable and s/he doesn't want to come yet.  I am thinking that I will be pregnant for the rest of my life.

Mr H. has taken me up in the plane twice.  After the first trip, I came home with major contractions and spotting, but by morning it has stalled, but that morning was when I lost the aforementioned mucous plug.  The second trip was last night (Sunday) and I had contractions (nothing regular) but no spotting and by the morning everything had stalled.

I have been taking Evening Primrose oil, which is supposed to help move things along...I have a couple of friends who have taken this and within a couple of days they have started labor.  I've been taking this for a couple weeks with nothing happening.  It's a little frustrating.

I've also gotten pregnancy inducing massages...twice!  And nothing, some contractions but then they stall out by morning.

I guess the baby will come when s/he is ready but, it would be nice for him/her to hurry up.  I'm very uncomfortable and I can't wait to meet my baby

Life As We Know It

I wanted to write about this before I forget about it.  Tonight while watching Family Feud there was a question posed to the family, "What would you see at a bachelor party that you wouldn't see at a bachelorette party?"  There were 4 answers and 3 were guessed, Strippers, Booze, and Men.  They were trying to guess the last answer, and one man said, "Sex Toys!"  KK piped up and said, "Six Toilets!?  Why would they need six toilets at a birthday party!?"  Mr H. and I died laughing.  KK thought we were laughing about the six toilets so he started laughing too.  It was pretty funny.

Life is good so far, most of my followers know that I just graduated from nursing school and studying to take my state boards (NCLEX).  July 5-7 I traveled to Columbus everyday for an NCLEX prep class for 8 hours.  It was good to go to that, the man who taught it helped to boost me up, making me think that this is something that I can do.  He was able to break down something that seems so big into smaller more manageable pieces...being able to notice those key words and knowing what they are asking.  He did a great job at breaking it down.  Well, the first day I took a wrong turn going home, but it was alright because I recognized the area...it was the way to go to the Columbus temple.  It was only a couple minutes out of the way so I decided to go and sit in the parking lot and just contemplate about the tasks ahead of me, things that has been weighing on my mind.  Just driving into the parking lot made me feel at peace and so warm.  It was stormy outside...but the temple grounds are so peaceful.  And I felt that peace as I prayed and thought about those things that have been on my mind.  The wrong turn was actually great in the end and the other 2 days I did not make any other wrong turns.

July 8 at 2pm I took my NCLEX test.  The testing center was across the street from my moms work.  I felt alright going into the test.  I'm grateful for my friends who warned me ahead of time...at the testing center they are very rigid with people going in and out.  For example, hair bands around the wrist, nope...you have to put it in your hair or show that there is nothing written underneath it.  You are not allowed to take anything in to test with you.  You have to have both of your palms scanned and recorded, as well as your finger prints, plus your picture is taken.  You need to be escorted to and from your seat.  It could have been very intimidating had I not been warned.  I did need to take a restroom break in the middle of my test and I had to raise my hand, be escorted, and my palm scanned.  Before I could go back to finish the test, my palm was scanned and I was escorted back to my seat where my picture was posted up on the screen of the computer.  I finished my test, answering 100 questions in 2 hours.  

When you take the NCLEX you could essentially get 75 to 265 questions just depending on how you answer the questions.  If you're proficient in your knowledge than the less questions you receive, but if you're not, than the test gives you more questions to try and redeem yourself.  But if you're at a point where you are not able to redeem yourself than the test shuts off.  So when I was approaching question 75, I was getting so nervous because I didn't want the test to shut off.  I didn't feel comfortable at that number...but the more questions that came up the more comfortable I felt, but I wasn't expecting the test to shut off at 100.  It literally scared me, I sat there for about 15 seconds wondering what in the world happened.  I got a little knot in my stomach...but it quickly subsided and I just started smiling.  I knew I passed...I just knew it.  I was surprised at what I was feeling because a TON of my friends did not know if they passed or failed, they were a nervous wreck for 24-48 hours.  But me, I just knew.  

After the test I drove over to my mom's work and hung out with her until her shift was over.  I talked with the doctors and her coworkers and everyone was so excited for me that I took the test and wished me good luck.  Mom took me out to Applebee's and we talked about lots.  I love my mom, she drives me nuts at times, but I love her.  She and I are a lot alike on a lot of levels, which is probably why she drives me nuts!  But we love canning jam together and we have the same craftiness.  We're even planning on putting together a craft room once my youngest sister moves out.  We actually just bought 3 sewing machines plus all the amenities.  But I digress, after dinner we went to KK's baseball practice and I enjoyed spending time with the rest of my family.  

I found out 2 days after taking my test that I did indeed pass and that I am officially Chole Hilsdorf, BS, RN, BSN.  It's pretty exciting and now all I have to worry about it continuing to bake this baby.  Speaking of baby...I have about 6.5 weeks left of this pregnancy if I deliver on my due date.  KK was 3 days late so we will see what this baby does.  I'm thought I was uncomfortable before now...but I was wrong!  My pelvis, more specifically my pubic bone is killing me, I seriously cannot find relief.  It hurts to stand, sit, and lay down.  I have insomnia, but when I do fall asleep I wake up needing to use the bathroom or waking up to tremendous amount of pain in my pelvis.  Last night was the worse night I have had, Mr H. was crowding me on my side (I know he want's to cuddle at night, but I just can't!).  So I had to come out to the couch because of the pain and because I had heartburn.  I always have heartburn!  So even though 6.5 weeks seems doable and not too much longer...for me, it feels like eternity.  I'm hoping the baby may want an early entrance to stop the pain.  Although, an early entrance means NO SLEEP, but I won't be in such pain.  I'm not sure what's worse, the pain or no sleep?  I don't get much sleep because of the pain so I have no idea what's worse!?  I know I was just complaining about the pregnancy, and my sister (RR) will laugh at me, but I do enjoy being able to carry this baby.  I am grateful for the opportunity that Heavenly Father gave me to grow this baby, that I am able to carry to term and that I have relatively no complications.  I'm getting excited to meet this baby, I want to hold and feel him/her.  I want to see who s/he looks like.  Only 6.5 more weeks left....hopefully!

Sorry no pictures...I will try and be better

29 Weeks

This pregnancy has gone by SOO super fast, but in the same token, it's been a harder pregnancy than the first.  I'm not sure if it's because I'm older and my body isn't as nimble as it was at 22.  I'm not sure if it's because it's different paternal genetics than KK.  I'm not sure if it's because I have a child already that takes time away from resting.  At my same age my mother was 3 months pregnant with child #5!  I couldn't even imagine having 4 children under the age of 7...I JUST turned 7 when RR was born.  Caleb will be 7 a couple months after Nugget is born.  It puts a perspective on how much more juggling I could be dealing with, so sometimes I feel guilty for complaining...but I just can't help it.  There are some things that are not going smoothly with this pregnancy and it's hard.

One thing that has been bugging me lately is when some people have asked me how I'm feeling and when I answer with, "alright" or "ehhh!".  They've basically said, in one way or another, "I still have a LONG way to go before I should  be complaining like that!"  My question is, why!?  If I'm having a bad day...a painful day, why do I have to hide it?  I know I have mentioned my pelvis troubles.  I'm in constant pain EVERY SINGLE second of the day.  It hurts to sit, stand, walk, lay down, etc.  There have been nights when I am up ALL night because of the pain.  There have been times when I have thought about going to the ER because I'm in so much pain.  So if I'm having an "Ehhh" kind of day, I'm sorry if that's too early to start complaining.  End of that rant!

So during this pregnancy I haven't really gotten any crazy cravings, but I have had a very strong aversion to animals.  I mean, I can't even watch a silly video with an animal (mostly cats and dogs) in it without getting upset or mad.  Which has been hard to deal with because we have a dog.  Zero is so confused because what I allowed her to do before the pregnancy I don't allow her to do now, such as go in the kitchen or lean against me so I can pet her.  I don't like her touching me, looking at me, licking me, or thinking about doing anything like that.  I feel like it's creepy when she looks at me.   The smell of her dog food makes me dry heave and not to mention the couple times she had accidents in the house.  I know that some of the things I do and say about Zero and other animals are irrational but I CANNOT help it.  Animals make me angry during this pregnancy.  If Mr H pets or kisses Zero than he needs to wash that part of his body off before he touches me.  I'm so disgusted with our house because I can see her dog fur on the carpet or on the kitchen floor and it sickens me.  I know a lot of you who read this are animal lovers and probably think that I'm the most horrible person alive...but I seriously CANNOT help it.  I have tried to pet Zero but I instantly think that I have to wash my hands.  This is a feeling that I've never felt before and it all started when I got pregnant, so I have to assume that it will end with the pregnancy!?  Mr H. is SUCH a HUGE animal lover and this has been hard on him too.  We can't even watch America's Funniest Video if there is an animal on it, I get up and leave or complain about how dumb that video is.  It's been hard to register for baby gifts because I want NO animals on anything.  Why are there animals on every single baby item!?  I've told Mr H. that I don't want Zero even close to the baby once s/he is born and licking the babe is out of the question.  Mr H. calls Zero "Sweetheart" or "Baby Girl" sometimes and I told him that if we have a girl that he will have to try to find different cuddle names, because if he calls her "Sweetheart" or "Baby Girl" I will instantly think he's talking about the dog...and our baby is NOT a dog.  I think he got a little upset/frustrated with me when I told him that.  But I just can't help it...he'll have to find another cuddle name for the baby if it's a girl.  I think he needs help thinking of other cuddle names because he's having a hard time coming up with them...

But other than those rants and complaints, I have really enjoyed this pregnancy and I really can't wait to meet my baby.  As of now, we don't have names chosen, we've talked about it kind of, but nothing set.  We just need to meet the baby first.  I can't believe how super fast I feel like this is going, we will be 30 weeks on Sunday and Thursday we have another Ultrasound since I'm high risk...and I can't wait to see Nugget moving around.  And here is a picture to document how big I'm getting.

Animal Kingdom

Today (May 16) we went to Animal Kingdom to eat breakfast with a bunch of the characters.  I love how Disney is so accommodating with those with allergies.  The chef came out and personally went through the menu with me...told me what to avoid, which things he wasn't quite sure of, and which food items were perfectly fine for me.  For those curious minds out there...I am allergic to celery/celery seeds and sunflower seeds/oil.  I have to read labels a lot...even on health and beauty items.  Once I had a reaction and realized that there was sunflower oil in the lotion!  I have to carry an epi-pen with me everywhere I go because I have gone into anaphylactic shock a couple times before so now I need to carry one around. 

Actually, the first time I ate sunflower seeds, I was at a friends house and my throat started getting very itchy and I was having a hard time breathing so I went home (I was probably 10 or 11) thinking that I was having an asthma attack (which I also had as a child) and when I got home my mom made me mad about something...I don't even know what it was about, but I stomped into my room and curled up into a ball fighting to breath and just kept thinking "FINE, my mom can just find me here dead!"  I really thought that I was going to die...it was a pretty bad reaction.  I am VERY lucky, however, that I didn't die.  My mom knows that story and feels bad for whatever it was that made me not want to tell her that I couldn't breathe and my throat was closing.  Thank goodness kids are resilient.  Anyway, back to Animal Kingdom....

Waiting to eat Breakfast



Donald Duck greeted us at the entrance

Mickey Mouse!

Daisy Duck

Mr H. wanted to get into the picture as well, since he was wearing a Goofy shirt

These were maracas that the kids shook while dancing with the characters.  I had to take a picture with KK at least shaking it.  He was in the bathroom while the dancing took place. 

After breakfast we stood in line for a safari ride.  KK was being goofy showing us what he would look like with a mustache

KK took this picture of Nugget, he wanted Nugget to be in the pictures too.  Look how swollen my hands are getting...

KK said, "Strike a Pose"

Just before the ride



A Black Rhino, which are endangered 

Hippos, KK enjoyed these animals

Did you know the reason crocs keep their mouths open like that is to regulate their temperature?  I didn't, until this safari

Giraffes, they were so awesome

I love the elephants

My Boys!

Family Photo

KK loved beating the drums

That archway that I am about to go under was actually a person on stilts.  It was pretty awesome!

We got soaked a couple times on Kali River Rapids.  KK LOVED this ride...you never knew who was going to get the most wet and 2 out of 3 times we went...we got soaked!

My Goofy K's

So after we went on all the rides and saw everything we wanted to at Animal Kingdom we went to Blizzard Beach for a couple hours.  We went on a couple water slides and spent the rest of the time in the wave pool.  But before we went to the wave pool I needed to use the bathroom so while the boys were at the pool, I went to find a bathroom and on my way I happened upon a woman who had a seizure.  I was able to use my nursing skills and got her on her side so she wouldn't aspirate.  I stayed until the paramedics got there.  I wasn't quite sure if they were medical staff....they looked like lifeguards, so I asked if they were Medics.  I didn't want to "give up" what I was doing to someone who wasn't qualified.  The whole time I was there, I kept thinking.  I need my oxygen and mask and other medical supplies.  It was a scary situation but I knew that I could handle it.  I am grateful for my knowledge...that knowledge can be taken with me wherever I go!  But after the excitement I was finally able to go to the bathroom, then spend a little time with my boys at the wave pool.  After Blizzard Beach closed we decided to go back to our hotel and eat, rest, and get ready to go back to Magic Kingdom. 

Look at my poor tired, swollen feet...

This was a nice slower train ride

Nugget picture

Buzz Lightyear...KK being so silly!

So we didn't think KK was tall enough to go on Space Mountain, and was surprised when he was!  This ride freaked me out a little because he was sitting in a seat by himself and I couldn't hold onto him to make sure he was alright.  I told him to hold onto the lap bar, or else he would've raised his arms in the air and this ride was pitch black...you never knew which way the coaster turned...it was quite an experience.  And of course, KK LOVED it

He is ready for the night life!

We had a really fun time today.  We were VERY busy, but it was a good day.  I love spending time with my family!

I have AWESOME friends

I really do have the most awesome friends who love and support me.  Before classes ended I had 2 particular friends who went above and beyond to show me they cared about not only me...but this new baby!  I met both of them through Nursing classes and both are so super fun, smart, and not to mention gorgeous.  When they had found out that I was pregnant they wanted to do something extra special.

Emily, her grandmother knits baby afghans and asked her grandmother to knit me one for Nugget.  Emily knew that we weren't finding out the gender and I told her that I like the color yellow, so she picked up 2 types of yarn and had me chose which one I wanted.  And this is the result:

 

It is so huge and soft, Nugget is sure going to LOVE it when s/he gets here!  It'll keep him/her nice and warm too! 

 

I have talked to a couple people about my plans to cloth diaper Nugget...I know this sounds radical BUT, in the long run it saves money and is better for the environment (people argue that it uses more water and other resources, but whatever!).  I've done a lot of researching and reading about it.  I am NOT an expert an this will be a trial and error process.  I do, however, have one friend, Nandry, who has been cloth diapering her son and she has given me a lot of advice.  She even came over to my home and gave me a gift for Nugget, "from one cloth diapering mom to another"

 

She gave me all of this cool cloth diaper (CD) start up kit.  There is CD safe rash ointment, inserts, the diapers themselves, a wet bag, reusable milk pads, and hand-dyed burp cloths (she made herself!)  I was so happy and surprised!  AND she pre-washed them all for me!  I've asked her a lot of questions regarding CD and she comes with a wealth of knowledge! 

 

I am grateful for all of my friends, but I wanted to give a shout out to these two, who have made me feel very special when they gave me gifts for Nugget.  These gifts have made me realize that Nugget will be here before I know it and will be able to use these gifts.  I hope that I can continually document the awesome things that Nugget receives so that I can always remember!