Ever Feel Like This!?

Or

Or

Or

I do...this whole week I feel like I haven't been able to get what I want across, that somehow the message gets mixed up. And because of the miscommunication or not being able to say what I want it's really taken a toll on Mr H. and I. This time in our life is the most stressful we've ever experienced together. And I would even venture to say this is the most stressed I've ever felt even when going through my divorce and being a single mom. I've been so stressed that I forget things constantly...I misplace my keys, forget to take an online quiz, lost some important papers, the list goes on. I guess the point I want to make is that life's hard and having communication in any kind of relationship is very important especially as a husband/wife relationship. Husbands and wives need to be partners in every single way...not only do they need to be partners with each other but with Heavenly Father too.

I am grateful...

So, remember when I was talking about all of the trials we have been going through? I was hoping that it couldn't get any worse, until now...now I know that it can. Before I explain what's going on let me explain how it began.

About a week ago, I told Mr H. that my car was making a weird noise and at time's it felt like the power steering goes out. He told me not to worry and he would check it out once finals were done. I still felt horrible in the pit of my stomach every time heard the noise.

On Thursday Dad asked if I would be available to help pack up JM's hospital room because more than likely they were sending her home. Since KK was with X and I wasn't doing anything important I went. After parking my car in front of my parent's house we left for the hospital in my dad's truck. At the hospital I packed up everything she had accumulated but before she could leave the physicians wanted her vitals and the vitals of the baby. I needed to head back home because X was dropping KK off soon. Once we pulled up to the house I remembered about the noise my car makes and I asked my dad to look at my car. I started it and turned the wheel until it made the noise and my dad knew what it was. I turned off my car so he could show me what it was. He showed me, I tried to turn my car on, and no go. It would not start! We tried and tried but no luck. But maybe it was luck on my side because if I would have driven it home I would have been stuck on the road and would have had to call a tow truck because my car's steering rack snapped. Bad...right!? Yes, when Mr H. took a look he was surprised that I was able to even drive it for the week. Having my car poop in front of my parents house...I am grateful.

But classes start tomorrow and my car will not be fixed until at least next weekend. This latest trial leaves us with only Mr H's van and his 1972 Triumph, which was in my parents garage. It was very stressful getting it to start. As you can see, it's old and hasn't been started in a while. Mr H. got it to start but it was only running on one cylinder, then it wouldn't start again. Mr H. was getting very upset and I honestly have NEVER seen him as upset as he was that night. And I can understand because we both NEED vehicles but the only running one is the van. After many prayers and pleading, the bike finally started at about 10pm...I am grateful.

Friday, after Mr H. got home from work he fell asleep until the next morning at 10am. About 15 hours of sleeping. He needed it and for that I am grateful.

Since my parents had the boys Mr H. and I decided to go to the Air Force Museum all day. I throughly enjoyed spending time with my husband. And I loved to see the excitement Mr H. had looking at all of the planes. We even saw the Hubble movie, which was very good. We can't wait to see the other movies playing there. I loved holding hands and walking. I loved not worrying about where the kids are. And for that I am grateful.

The Attitude of Gratitude

I had written a huge and long post about some of the things that were going on here at home...some of the trials we are facing, but I decided that I should save it for my own personal journal. But all I want to say about it is that I know everyone has trials going on in their life which are hard to deal with and some of these trials seem like they will never end, some of them will make any sane person want to scream or cry, and some, well, some are just plain unexplainable.

Our family has been hit hard with some pretty unexplainable trials -- one right after the other -- with no break. I seriously feel like my head is almost completely under the water and I can't breathe...I am drowning. I'm really hoping that things start lightening up a bit. So in the mean time I would like to mention a few things that are positives, things that I am grateful for. These positives do not outweigh the bad but...you gotta start somewhere, right!?

Zero:
I am grateful that she is so gentle and loves the boys. She seriously has anxiety when the boys are not here at our house. She is such a funny dog. I am grateful when she stays out of my way (which isn't very much). She is a good doggy.

KK:
Where to start? I am so grateful for KK he is the light in my darkness. He makes me laugh so hard. Just the other day I said something to him and he managed to throw himself into a fit of giggles for about a minute. I don't even remember what I said but it was funny to him. KK is always the first person to remind us to say prayers before eating. He also has the most sweetest spirit about him. I was holding him like a baby yesterday and I kissed him and he asked me to kiss him again and then he told me that he loves cuddling with me. I am very grateful that KK decided to chose me as his mother.

G:
Where to start!? No, really, I don't know where to start. Today he folded a load and a half of laundry and cleaned the counters. G really loves band and theater, he really likes to act! I am grateful for the times that he does play nicely with KK and the times that he is behaving.

Mr H.:
My husband is my best friend. He is my support and my rock. I feel so much support from him. I am grateful that he is the type of guy who likes to talk and can talk to me about anything...especially planes, guns, and the law...which make my ears tired. I love how excited he gets about things that interest him. I am grateful that we met and chose to share our lives together.

Let's hope that spending time thinking about the positives will help me stay grounded and focus on what matters the most.

April Showers...

...bring May flowers? I would say April showers...bring flooding! That is what we have had to deal with. It has been raining everyday for at least a week. Lots and lots and lots of rain. Let me share with you some pictures to help you understand how much rain has been falling:





KC is my sister, RR's, friend. They are JUST FRIENDS. He was coming over so they could hang out and he got stuck in the flood. His truck is totaled and bought a new car on Saturday.

I just can't believe how much rain has fallen. That should mean that May's flowers better be the biggest and the best I've ever seen because this rain is falling like I've never seen before.

Our Walk

Our family has been going through a lot of trials recently. Now I know that ALL families go through trials...but these trials seem to be a lot bigger than "normal trials". I'm hoping and praying that we are able to adjust and that these things too shall pass. But for now I want to talk about something happy. Last week when the weather was cooperating KK and I decided to go on a walk behind our house. We had to make it a short walk as we were supposed to pick Mr H. up from work because the van died on us (one of the many trials). These are some pictures along our walk:

Starting our walk...notice his discolored tooth?

Strike a pose...

...and because I'm a boy I'll jump

...and throw!

"Let me go catch that Geegle!" (yes, he calls them geegles! Lol)


On our way back we walked by the van and KK said, "Mom the van needs a blessing...but we don't have that stuff that you put on your head." I told him that we had the water from the water bottle and I think that would work for now. So KK proceeded to give the van a blessing.

Anointing the van with water

Blessing the side of the van

Anointing the van with water

Blessing the back of the van

Precious Boy!


Going through trials that are every shape and size can blind us from noticing the blessings that are put in our life. KK was and still is the BIGGEST blessing that has been placed in my life and for that I am grateful!