Week 17

The last post was a downer so I thought I would end my night with what we've been up to.  We've been very busy and I usually fall asleep around 10pm so I've had no time to blog. 

Mr H. is still working and taking 3 college classes.  That has been keeping him very busy.  He hasn't been able to go flying as much as he's wanted to, the weather hasn't cooperated and when it does, it's on a day he is busy with work, homework, or night classes.  He's very adamant about taking a break from classes over the summer, which will be like a breath of fresh air.  It'll be nice to have him around more often.  KK loves him so much and he is such a great dad to him.  When he comes home, KK takes his hand and asks him to play GI Joes, Army guys, or Pirates with him.  So Mr H. plays with KK for about 20 mins before doing anything else.  It makes my heart happy to see KK loved so much by a GOOD man!

 

I have been working 12 hour shifts at one of the local hospitals in the Emergency Room.  I LOVE it.  I can see myself being an ER or trauma nurse.  The 2 things that I have learned and value are that I love to see outside and I love getting a lunch.  I was assigned with one preceptor and we never got lunches or got out on time.  It was annoying and hard for me especially being pregnant, I needed to eat and have that rest period.  Than right after my spring break she told me that the next day was her last and I was in a panic because I NEED a preceptor in order to be at the hospital and I only had 5 more shifts left.  Luckily I was assigned a new one quickly and she is awesome, we ALWAYS take a lunch and we get out on time.  Now I only need 3 more 12's and I am finished at the hospital.  I have a paper to write but after that, I'm pretty much finished and will be able to graduate in 33 more days!  Not that I am counting down or anything!

 

KK had a concert on Monday.  I recorded it, but I haven't uploaded it yet.  It was so special, they have been working on those songs this whole year.  At the end of the concert I cried.  He is getting to be such a big boy and he is growing up and that makes me happy and sad at the same time.  I love this boy so much.



 

IDK what that face is for, but the theme of his concert was, "It's not about you, it's not about me, it's about we!"  There was a photographer who took 2 photos of each and every child, showing their personality, in their school and these were the 2 photos of KK.  That bottom one cracks me up. 

 

Moving on, KK had part of his filling come out yesterday when we were flossing and he said, "What's this rock doing in my teeth!?"  Oops!  So we got him into an urgent dentist office today and they fixed him up.  He got a palate shot and cried for a bit.  He wanted me to hold him while it took effect so I held him for about 10 mins...man that boy is getting so heavy.  He did great though.  He told me that he liked that place better than he regular dentist, so we might be going there from now on for him they also use composite rather than amalgam so it's not noticed as much which made me happy.  He was a tough boy and he even said he wants to be a dentist!  So it didn't scare him away, which I am glad for.

While both Mr H. and I were finishing up some homework KK came to show me what he did.  It reminded me of Mel Gibson's character in Braveheart.  I told KK to go to the kitchen, where Mr H. was and yell, "They can take our lives, but they can't take our freedom!"  He runs out there and says, "They can take our lives but they can't take our....what!?"  And ran back into the room...I was dying laughing. 

Nugget is 17 weeks today.  I feel good besides my pelvic pain.  My right hip and pubic bone hurt.  I'm sure it will get worse. I have been feeling the baby a lot and the baby is becoming stronger and bigger.  Currently it's the size of an onion.  KK is so happy and excited for the baby, he kisses my belly and tells it, "I love you"  He is so sweet.  Mr H. is the same way.  He has to kiss and rub on my belly.  I'm just surprised by how big I have gotten the 2nd time around.  April 11th is our dating ultrasound.  We're not finding out the gender so we're just making sure that the baby is still on track for a due date in the beginning of September. 





Single Motherhood Struggles

I have wanted to talk about this for a long time now, but just don't know how to bring it up or exactly what to say.  Until a comment a friend made last week really made me think about my struggles as a single mother.  Her comment was that she felt like a single mother...but was happily married.

That statement offended me.  And I'll tell you why.  If you've never been a single mother you DON'T know what that feels like so you can't possible feel like a single mother.  You could have a lot of stress, domestic work, rearing children with a husband who is gone a lot.  There are a TON of mothers here whose husbands are residents or in active duty military and they're not able to see their families very often for days to even years.  But those women still don't know what it's like to be a single mom.  They still have an income to manage the house, medical insurance for illnesses, and other benefits through their husbands.  A single mom has to manage that all by herself, there is no one to help you provide benefits for your child or an income for your home.  Most single moms I know have to work...there just isn't any other way.  To say a person "feels like a single mom" is obviously coming from someone who has (thankfully) never been in those shoes.  A single mom cannot "feel" like one, because she "is" one.  She doesn't have time to complain...there's too much to do.

I remember once when I was talking to someone and complaining about being a single mother and how it's not my fault but I feel that I am being punished, there was a woman who looked at me and told me that "I was the one who chose X as my husband" and basically I made my bed and should lay in it.  That half the blame was because of my choices.  I was shocked and stunned by her ignorance.  We all need to "think before we speak".  Sometimes when we say things we don't realize can offend others.  It's just like saying to someone who lost their mother, "I know how you feel" when your mother is still alive...you have NO idea what that person is going through. 

Why do I feel I have authority to talk about this subject of single motherhood?  Because I was one.  Most of you know that Mr H is my 2nd husband...this is my 2nd marriage.  Before I met Mr. H I was a single mother taking care of a child not even 17 months old when my 1st husband kicked us out of our home.  Luckily my parents let us stay with them but KK and I were on our own.  My parents didn't have room for us so they partitioned part of their room off so that a crib and a twin size mattress could fit, it was a tiny space and that's where KK and I called home from May 2008-November 2008 until we could rearrange the dinning room so we could move in there.  This picture shows how little room we had.  On the other side, by KK, was the partition. 

 

We stayed in the dining room until I married in July of 2010.  There are a lot of memories associated with that dining room, such as this: 



And maybe this is a good time to confess that I nursed KK until he was 3 and a half years old.  And I am not shamed of it.  That was something that both him and I needed.  KK needed that comfort and I in turn also needed that comfort of him close to me, needing me.  When Mr H. and I started talking I nursed KK for another 15 months!  He knew I nursed him and guess what!?  He supported me and thought it was fine.  Gotta love him for that. 

 

That dining room saw me through graduating from college as a single mom with a bachelors in Biology!  

 

That dining room also was the place that Mr H's and my first kiss happened.  OMG look how red my cheeks were...I was so shy about that whole situation.

 

My experience of being a single mom wasn't all smiles.  I STRUGGLED!  I went through a divorce, I had to split time with X, I had to put KK in daycare, I had to work, I hardly had a break, I had to pay for EVERYTHING because X refused to pay child support, I didn't have time to be depressed because KK needed me.  But all I wanted to do is get in bed and never leave.  It was the most difficult time of my life.  But for me, I'm lucky.  I met Mr H. soon after KKs 2nd birthday.  He lived in Arizona so it wasn't a normal courtship, until he moved to Ohio at the end of 2009.  But I think I will leave our "courtship" to another blog post.