"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."~Mother Theresa
As many of you know, my sister JM, is pregnant with her first child. This child was conceived and will be born out of wedlock. One of the biggest obstacles that she has had to go through is facing what people have thought or said to her as a result of her action. Now, I know that no one is perfect and there will ALWAYS be people judging but I would at least expect that people at church would be a little more understanding. I want to share this conversation to you because sometimes we think before we speak and by doing that, it can really hurt others feelings.
A couple Sundays ago JM had gone to our family ward (not the singles) and most people knew her situation and gave comfort and support which I am grateful for. But there was one woman in particular who thought she was being supportive by asking JM what she was going to do with the baby and when JM asked her what she meant the woman said, "You should look into LDS social services." JM explained that she was keeping the baby. Then the woman retorted by saying, "Well, there are a lot of deserving parents out there who could love your baby and give her what she needs and who could be blessed because of your mistake!" JM's jaw dropped. It's frustrating for me to see my sister go through this. But this the choice she made. I cannot judge her or anyone else because of the choices they have made. I regretfully say that I have judged before and have been very prideful in thinking, "thank goodness that's not me!" But the more I've grown the more I've realized that we tend to judge others from their behavior and we tend to judge ourselves from our intentions. I meant to do this...If I had more time I would...I intended to... I just hope that I can continually strive to become nonjudgmental and/or prideful.
It's very sad. We all do judge, that's human nature, but we need to be very careful how that affects out dealings with others. You may not support the "mistake" (using quotes for a reason) that Jenae made but she's dealing with it. You may not support how she's reacting to the "mistake." But, it's not anybody's call but Jenae's and our Heavenly Father's.
ReplyDeleteYou make sure you tell Jenae I LOVE HER! People can be harsh and not think things through. They might do something else if they were in the same position, but that's for them to decide, not for others to decide for us.
LOVE YA GIRL!
Love that quote by mother theresa.
ReplyDeleteAnd, I said it before, but you are an awesome sister! I'm glad she has a good support system!
I will probably never have children. It breaks my heart sometimes - much less than when I was first told about my odds. So I can see where that woman was coming from...HOWEVER, once J said she was keeping her that should have been IT. You don't go on about giving up a "mistake." I'm sorry - most babies are "OOPS!" unless absolutely planned. Sometimes those "oops'" are at a decent time, but most of the time you're broke, you've got tons on your plate, things aren't ideal (but if we all waited until the ideal moment it would never come, right?!)... I'm so sorry she had to go through that, but I am so glad you all stuck by her and had her back...that's what family is for! <3
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